Together
by darkland
Summary: Amaro, and Benson try and work out where they stand in their romantic relationship and Meanwhile the detectives Munch and Rollins explore the deep seductive world of toys, bandages and incestial relationships and the customers when the owner is found brutally murdered with his man bits cut off!
1. Chapter 1

Olivia Benson was awake that night. Wondering what on earth came over when she kissed Nick that night. I was drunk and lost all my inhibitions. Would be one. Olivia thought to herself. It wasn't like she did get the passionate kiss back in return. Nick returned her kiss and it was plain as obvious to her that he liked her as well, but why did she feel so guilty about it? She knew Nick was leaving to go to Los Angeles for a new beginning after his daughter's brutal murder, so why was she messing with her head? A lot of questions about why she acted on her developing feelings for the young man that she never thought would do. Olivia thought of the consequences of such action she made on Nick.  
Could she still be hurting over Elliot and the way he left? Olivia was pondering over Elliot and Nick, and sighed annoyingly. She hated being in this kind of mess. She knew that she never had feelings for Elliot, although he had feelings for her, but she knew that Nick had feelings for her now , and that they both acted on those feelings that they were to scared to even admit that were there and to act upon. She looked at the clock, it read 3.30am. It wasn't long ago that she felt her lips touch Nick's lips. It felt like a life time, but it wasn't.

Meanwhile Nick was lying in his bed and he was thinking about his kiss with Olivia. He was still in his clothes. When he eventually got home after the cab ride with Olivia, he just dragged himself up the stairs, into his apartment and collapsed on the bed. He was tired emotionally and physically and the kiss with Olivia tonight had him more confused. There was no denying that he thought of her as his best friend and was hoping for something more. He had come to trust her and befriended her as he got used to his year and a half at Special Victims Unit. There was something about her that he liked. It was something simple. It was her open warmness that she gave him after she dealt with her issues with Elliot leaving the SVU squad. He liked the way she cared about the victims, and the volitle anger she had for the scumbags that they dealt with on the daily basis.  
He thought about his decision about leaving SVU, he was regretting that decision. The relationship with Olivia was changing, and they crossed that line when they passionately kissed outside the pub before getting into that pub. The excitement of touching her lips, her curvy body, woke something up in him that he hadn't felt for weeks. That surroundness of hope and love that he felt when he felt her body brush against his, made him feel something. Made him feel again, his heart, his love and was ready. He admired her for a long time and he couldn't believe that this was happening. And it felt right. It felt nice.  
Problem was, were either of them going to admit that their relationship was now forever changed? And if so were they going to do something about it? Nick wanted to very much so. Question was Olivia ready to give her heart into another relationship.

Kelly Rollins walked into the New York City percent tired. It was 8.30am and she had received a call from Munch about a possible homicide case. Instead of meeting her at the crime scene, he decided that she was better off driving to the Precinct to save economic "foliage" as he wanted them to go in one car, to save on fuel price wastage. Or whatever he was mumbling. Kelly didn't care at that point, she was still half asleep when she got the call, it did allow her though to grab a decaf cappuccino from the café shop around the corner from her manhattan apartment. Kelly didn't bother driving in, the Precinct was only a fifteen minute walk away from her home.  
When she arrived she found Munch and Fin talking at the desk there. She noticed that they were playing with some sort of game with their hands. Then she turned to see Amaro's desk. All empty and cleaned. Not a single dust on it. The only thing that made it look like it was busy was the empty trays and the wide-screen monitor and keyboard and mouse that was sitting on there, remaining untouched. She sighed sadly. She liked Nick. He made her feel okay about being in the Precinct. She was used to him. Sadly his retirement was expected, after the death of his daughter, she didn't blame him for leaving.  
Kelly took off her coat and chucked it on her desk and walked over to her colleagues. "So what do we have, Munch?"  
"Ooh a lady that's straight to business. Wish my ex-wife would have taken that initiative with our divorce proceedings instead of dragging me through hell and hope." Munch greeted with a smile.  
"I feel sorry for your ex-wives." Fin sighed.  
"The case that we have is a young man found brutally murdered in a toy shop. Got the call in about half an hour ago. It's a sex crime. The victim was found gagged and his penis cut off." Munch explained, he looked at Rollins face and it nearly turned white.  
"Did that put you off that evil caffeine?" Asked Munch.  
"Yeah." Rollins said shaking her head. She put the coffee cup down on her desk, grabbed her coat and headed out with Munch to the crime scene.

PITS STOP TOY SHOP  
CORNER OF 4TH AND FIFTH AVENUE  
8.49AM

The Victim's name was Kamo Elizabeth Jamieson . The identification found beside his body was a wallet and some I.D cards and a drivers license. The body had been mutilated in a way by the murderer. The blood surrounding the area of his package was still swarming, which indicated that the victim hadn't been dead long. His eyes open with terror and cuts and bruises around. Both his arms had cuts, bruises and scratches, which indicated he had somewhat tried to fight off his attacker.  
As the forensics were going over the crime scene, Munch and Rollins walked in to be greeted by the horrific sight. Around the body were toys that had fallen off the shelves, indicating that the victim and or the purp had been shoved into the shelf.  
Rollins had to cover her mouth, she felt like throwing up when she saw what was missing in between his legs. His business pants had been ripped open for all the word to see that specific part was missing.  
Melinda Warner was crouched over the body making notes. She turned to see the two detectives gawking horrifically at the victim.  
"I take it you had your breakfast? Because there's worse to come." She warned. "As long as you didn't have chocolate cake, you should be fine."  
"What could possibly be more worse than someone's balls being chopped off?"Rollins asked.  
"Being alive when it's being hacked off with a chainsaw." Melinda explained.  
"You're kidding me?" Munch asked, even for him and for what he's seen in his long time career as a detective - was gruesome!"  
Melinda pointed back down to the missing man's packages. "See these marks. These marks are cut deep and from something that had a sharp edge blade. Like a knife, but only more stronger. We compared them to the chainsaw blade we found in one of the aisles, and they match."  
"So he or she.. Left the weapon behind?" Rollins asked. "Stupid."  
"No, it's never been used. The purp defiantly took the chainsaw with him. But see these marks, he or she, hesitate before cutting off his manhood It could indicate he was interrupted, or he started speaking to the victim while he was cutting and tried to ensure that he suffered a painful death."


	2. Chapter 2

"I've also discovered a packet of condoms shoved into his mouth, all signs of being worn and used. His swimmers are underneath his body."

"So he was raped and mutilated at the same time?" Asked Munch. "Boy that's a first. Every guy's fantasy turns to horror and death."

"I can't be too certain if it was rape. There are no finger prints on the parts apart from his own nor there was any suggestive bruising on the area. No penetration. But I will have to do more testing on the manly bit when we get the body back to the lab."

"But what do you think he happened? He was aroused at the time of death?" Rollins asked.

"Aroused and ejaculated with the killer." Melinda replied.

"Wow that's twisted." Munch said. "Thanks, Bell."

"Anytime lunch box." Melinda said with a wink and then bent down to do more of her work around the body.

Rollins and Munch walked around the rest of the store to check out if there was anything out of the place, or any clues to help them to get their foot in the right direction of this bizzare murder.

One of the police officers approached them.

"Excuse me, Detectives. We have a witness who found the body." The young officer said.

Munch and Rollins looked at each other.

The young female that found the horrible crime scene and the body of Kamo Jamieson looked visibally was crying and her face was pale white. Another officer was there to keep an eye on her as the detectives made their way toward her. The woman looked like she was about to faint on the ground at the horror of what she had just saw inside. It wasn't something that she was used to or would ever prey on anyone.

Her blonde hair was tied back into a perfect pony tail. Not a hair out of join, or missing out of the perfection of the tightness. Blood was all over her neck and all over her white blouse, but the grey blanket covered the rest of the body from the upper arms to lower of the legs, so the detectives couldn't determine if the blood was all over her clothes. They guessed it was from the victim and that the lady had tried to do CPR.

The witness store at Munch and Rollins as they approached and she looked at their badges as they flashed and introduced themselves.

"I'm Detective Amanda Rollins, and this is Detective John Munch. We are very sorry for your loss. We would like to ask you a few questions about the victim, if you feel up to it. It won't take too long." Rollins greeted in a nice and smoothing voice and with a faint smile to ensure that the woman that this was not going to be a high pressured interview or nor were they going to make it tough for her.

"Hi." The woman said quietly. Obviously still haunted by the image of the gruesome find in the toy shop.

"Can we have your name?" Asked Munch.

"Sure. It's Deanna Jamieson. And that's spelt with a Daniel in the middle." Deanna said.

Munch gave her a puzzled look. "Why do you have a boys name for your middle name?"

"Oh my parents were drugged at the time they named me. And as was my brother." Tears filled through her eyes as Deanna mentioned and thought of her brother and her idiotic parents.

"You're Kamo's sister? The identification said Jamieson was his last name." Munch confirmed as he studied her face, to see how she would react. He could often tell if they were going to hide something by the way they paused and reflected on the question and the way they responded, and avoided eye contact just a split second before answering the questions.

Deanna nodded. "Yes, he's my brother."

"May I ask when you found your brother?" Asked Munch scribbling down a note on his pda notepad.

"Well I always arrive here early. Around about 7.30am to do some pre-business stuff. Looking at the financials, organizing stocks to be deleted, to be removed and do some ordering from the eastern states. When I got here, I saw a light on in the store and dismissed it and thought Kamo was in early. He comes in early once a week to help organize the shelving of toys we sell. He's such a good brother like that." Deanna explained.

"That's when you found him...?" Asked Rollins, trying not to ask anything more than that.

Deanna's eyes teared up. "I knew something was wrong as soon as I went in the back because the door was off it's hinges and everything in the office had been turned upside down. When I walked into the store to see if anything had been stolen, that's when I found him... him..oh my god.. It was so horrible."

She burst into tears again, thinking of that heinous scene of her brother lying on the store floor with his bits cuts off and the blood surrounding him like a piece of meat.

"I can only imagine." Rollins said. "Did you want to take a break?"

"No, I'm too pretty not to help you. It's my given right."Deanna said as she immediately stopped crying and wiped tears off her face with worn out tissues.

Munch and Rollins gave each other a look.

"When was the last time you saw your brother?" Rollins asked. She found Deanna to be weird and acting like as if she was the only victim out of this case. She noticed as she had been crying she was trying to seduce herself by putting her hands down her bra. Rollins thought that was damn strange.

"Last night, after we slept together." Deanna said in a state of a matter of a fact tone.

"Um..." Rollins nearly choked on her own saliva after hearing that. "Can you just repeat that?"

**AMARO'S APARTMENT**

**10.40AM**

Nick was sitting on the couch sipping a cup of coffee. Thinking of Olivia and what had happened between them last night. He still could taste Olivia's scent in the air as he thought of her. Drawing back to that moment when he let her kiss him, he imagined himself in his bed with her. Not a moment else. Not a moment too far into the future. It was something that he imagined and he still did.

Nick sighed. He couldn't work out what he was going to do now. Was he still going to move to L.A? Was he going to try and work out his feelings for Olivia? Were they going to meet at a common great and work out what this meant? He hated being caught in a moment like this. He had his heart stomped on before, with his deceased ex-wife, but he knew that his friendship with Olivia was special, more of a brother and sister kind of relationship that he didn't want to see end if they became a couple and it failed to work. He also knew that he loved her. Her caring, her compassion,her grace, her spirit and everything else about her was what he felt what his new partner was and should be. He never thought he'd feel like this about anyone again, considering after recent events, but he did and for the first time, Nick, wanted to confront those feelings about Olivia.

_Damn it, Just call her Nick!_ Nick thought to himself. Urging himself to stop moping around about the kiss and to get on with it. He grabbed the cordless phone and dialled Olivia's number.

Four rings and he hung up, sighing and heading back towards his bedroom.

On the other end Olivia could see Nick's caller I.D. She had planned on picking it up but when she had went to pick it up, she had second thoughts and let it ring out. Olivia sighed. She didn't know what to do, her body was aching for Nick's warm tough and mouth again, but the inner Olivia said it was in appropriate. She was thinking that because of his daughter's death, that the kiss was inappropriate and was out of the blue, nothing more. Nothing more. NOTHING! Olivia was trying to play that card, but it wasn't working. She had feelings for Nick. And the kiss meant something for both of them.

Her thoughts were interrupted by her Iphone's ring time of Whitney Nears's song "Kiss me bitch". She slides the button on the touch screen and pressed the phone to her ear.

"Hey, Munch." Olivia smiled. "What's up?"

"Can you cancel your day off? We're gonna need you and Amaro's help on this case. It's bizzare. We'll explain when you guys get in." Munch said. "Oh and bring some Krispy Krome Doughnuts. I'll pay you back."

Olivia nodded. She hung up and immediately went into her bedroom to get changed.

Nick meanwhile was putting his suit on when he got a text message. He did his tie first before he answered the text. He opened up is iphone and it was from Olivia.

_Been called into work. Let's pretend nothing happened? You okay with that?Liv_

Nick's face dropped into disappoint. It seemed Olivia was making her decision right there that nothing between them happened. Maybe it was easier for her to pretend that it didnt happen. But for Nick it wasn't so easy. He had grown to admire Olivia for her beauty, strengths and smily personality. He couldn't switch off his crush for her just like that. It seemed Olivia could. And that kiss was damn hot, so he couldn't exactly pretend that it didn't happen either. Nick's mind was racing a mile a minute with thoughts of hurt and anger by Olivia's text message. However he was started to think that she was only just warning him to leave their personal dramas out of the case when they get to work. It didn't specifically say that she was warning him off and Nick was hoping that was the case. That she was just going to leave things outside the office. That's what nick had at the moment. Hope.

When Nick got the text message from Munch about needing help on this bizzare murder case, deep down Nick was excited (not about the case , that would be just so wrong!) but being with Olivia again. He had to now make sure he kept his feelings and his looks towards Olivia outside of work, so that the others wouldn't notice.

He replied back to the text message. _Okay. Fine, but we still need to talk after the case._

As he was tucking his shirt and pulling the belt around his waist , his iphone vibrated on the bed. He grabbed it and was a message from Olivia:

_I am not sure if I want to. Let's just pretend nothing happen. I dont think you're in the space right now to have a relationship. I do like you, but I don't think now is the time. So let's just remain friends._

Nick's jaw dropped open. His heart fell into his mouth right there and then. He felt like a truck had run him over multiple times and his heart had been crushed by a shovel. He sat back on the bed devastated at Olivia's text message. She was playing with his heart and he hated that. Why on earth did she kiss him last night then if she didn't want to talk things through? And Nick was more angry at the fact that she was using his daughter's death as an excuse to not try and pursue something between them that was lurking in the love lane of the Special Victims Unit.


	3. Chapter 3

In his bedroom, Nick was adjusting his pants and his shirt. He wasn't sure if the blue shirt would match the dark grey business pants he wanted to wear. He had already swapped over about three different suit pants. He was finally settled on that, it was just the shirt that was driving him crazy! Not to mention, that he still had to pick out a tie. The weather seemed to growing harshly outside his apartment, from clear blue skies, the New York weather, had started to erect itself in a state of white and cloudy skies, a sign that rain was about to fall upon them or that a major lead would break in the current case that both he and Olivia were to help on.

Nick looked at himself in the mirror as he stood there, depressingly for a moment. "Why am I doing this? She's not going to go out with me, I'm kidding myself. She's obviously made it clear that I'm not the type she wants."

Upon saying that out loud he fell to the floor on his knees, barely struggling to hold onto the hope and soul of his daughter, but realizing that he was placing so much hope in a relationship onto his partner and onto himself that may or may never happen.

He picked himself up again, trying to hold back tears as he threw his blue business shirt onto the bed and stormed into the walking robe to find a white shirt instead. Nick realized that he was so conscious with his dressing so Olivia would notice, but his mindset told him to not bother, (but knowing himself, he will regret it later).

He put on the shirt in front of the mirror, did up the buttons and tucked his shirt into his pants and then readjusted his pants. He quickly adjusted his collar and picked a gold tie that he loved.

Looking at himself in the mirror, he put on his suit jacket and adjusted the arm length. He saw his badge on the dresser and grabbed it, but with hesitance. Somehow, he had this nudging feeling, that he should have just retired. Somehow, he thought his decision to return to SVU was a bad mistake.

Olivia decided to walk to the precinct. She stopped by Krispy Kreame Donughts and grabbed a box set for her colleagues. She wasn't really paying any attention to anything or anyone on the sidewalk of the street on this now cold and cloudy New York day. Her thoughts had slowly turned into the kiss she shared with Nick. The detective that she tried so hard not to like for so long. Or try to develop feelings for. She couldn't help it. The man's mysterious personality, the way he could make her laugh, had woken her up to something. He had something that Elliot never had. Olivia was confused. She knew Nick liked her and judging by the way she was tonguing his mouth, she sent a pretty strong signal for him. She thought of the consequences, she thought of Elliot, and she thought of Nick. Was it too soon? Was his feelings real? Genuine? She had to talk to him about it, but she couldn't face the harsh realities. It was easy for her to just walk away and let him suffer. But then to let Nick suffer like that, was just damn cruel and Olivia knew it. He's already lost his daughter, and she knew he suffered because of it, to let him suffer over this, would just push the man to the edge.

Olivia walked into the Precint to find Nick sitting at his desk listening to Munch about the horrific details about the case.

Rollins saw her walk in and called out to her. "Sorry to get you in Olivia, but we need all hands on deck on this one."

"It's fine." Olivia said, trying not to sound nervous or rattled. Nick turned to see her and gave a faint and cautious smile, she did the same, and then the kiss began playing in her head again. She felt like it was trying to tell her to kiss him again in front of everyone.

"Ooh I see you brought us Donughts!" Munch exclaimed like a little girl. He grabbed the box off her and threw two onto his desk and then took the box away.

"Where's mine?" Cragen asked as Munch went to the kitchen.

"In the box." Munch replied.

Cragen walked up to Olivia and Nick. "Sorry, about this. But like Rollins says, we need all hands on deck on this one."

"So what do we have?" Olivia asked.

A few gory details later, Nick and Olivia looked at each other in shock and disbelief.

"And it was consensual?" Nick asked, quite astonished at the fact that a brother and sister would have a consensual sexual relationship. He didn't think that New Yorkers were this sick in the head that was until he joined SVU.

"Oh, don't tell me you're surprised? Come on it's been happening since the 1800s. We're all in fact brothers and sisters. We're all a descendant from an incestial relationship." Munch began as re-entered the discussion.

"What I find weird, was that Deanna was acting as if it was common law and acceptable that she was sleeping with her brother." Rollins said. "But I think deep down in her heart she knew it was wrong. I wonder who seduced each other first. I bet it was Kamo. Men and their penis's, should just chop them off."

As she said this she was looking at Nick, who quickly crossed his legs and cleared his throats.

"Somehow, put a chain saw in Rollin's hand and piss her off, and you're going to loose something in the crown area." Munch teased.

Everyone looked at her.

Rollins frowned. "I'm just saying what I'm thinking."

"Prints came in from the CSU." Cragen announced, trying to get the conversation back about the case and trying to find Kamo's killer or killers. "There are two partial matches. One male, one female. We're running them against the citizen database. In the meantime Benson, Amaro I want you working this case full time. I want you to go down and see Warner and then back to the crime scene, find anything that will help us solve this grizzly murder. As for Munch and Rollins, want you to talk to anybody close to Kamo and Deanna and see if they knew about their affair. Someone would have had to know about it."

Nick grabbed his suit jacket and put it on and watched as Olivia hurried out of the office, not waiting for him.

He sighed, he really wanted to talk to her about last night, he just hoped that she would at least hear him out.


	4. Chapter 4

A few gory details later, Nick and Olivia looked at each other in shock and disbelief.

"And it was consensual?" Nick asked, quite astonished at the fact that a brother and sister would have a consensual sexual relationship. He didn't think that New Yorkers were this sick in the head that was until he joined SVU.

"Oh, don't tell me you're surprised? Come on it's been happening since the 1800s. We're all in fact brothers and sisters. We're all a descendant from an incestial relationship." Munch began as re-entered the discussion.

"What I find weird, was that Deanna was acting as if it was common law and acceptable that she was sleeping with her brother." Rollins said. "But I think deep down in her heart she knew it was wrong. I wonder who seduced each other first. I bet it was Kamo. Men and their penis's, should just chop them off."

As she said this she was looking at Nick, who quickly crossed his legs and cleared his throats.

"Somehow, put a chain saw in Rollin's hand and piss her off, and you're going to loose something in the crown area." Munch teased.

Everyone looked at her.

Rollins frowned. "I'm just saying what I'm thinking."

"Prints came in from the CSU." Cragen announced, trying to get the conversation back about the case and trying to find Kamo's killer or killers. "There are two partial matches. One male, one female. We're running them against the citizen database. In the meantime Benson, Amaro I want you working this case full time. I want you to go down and see Warner and then back to the crime scene, find anything that will help us solve this grizzly murder. As for Munch and Rollins, want you to talk to anybody close to Kamo and Deanna and see if they knew about their affair. Someone would have had to know about it."

Nick grabbed his suit jacket and put it on and watched as Olivia hurried out of the office, not waiting for him.

He sighed, he really wanted to talk to her about last night, he just hoped that she would at least hear him out.

Olivia turned to Nick outside and threw him the keys. "You're driving."

Nick nodded in agreement. "What's the matter don't want me kissing you?"

Olivia stopped half way getting into the car and looked at him. "Nick, come on , not here."

Nick sighed and put the keys on the roof of the car and leaned forward. Olivia store at him, almost dreamingly, she did happen to notice his shirt this time. He actually looked good in a suit. Olivia thought. She kept her eyes on his face and looked at his neck and then his eyes again, she found herself walking over to him and pulling him in for a deep kiss again. She couldn't help it. She couldn't resist it. Olivia knew. She knew she needed to deal with the feelings for this man. Nick didn't pull back; in fact, he had trouble getting comfortable with the way Olivia had grabbed him. He felt her hand going down his leg but then she pulled back. He had started to feel warm, excited and he watched Olivia's face as she pulled back and he gave her a smile.

He looked at her, his face beaming. "Was that your way to shut me up?"

"I don't know how we are going to work this, but we need to focus on the case. I admit, I can't stop thinking about the Casey." Olivia admitted, looking behind her to see if anyone had actually saw what she had done.

"What's Novak got to do with this?" Nick asked, with a pleasant surprise. Immediate thoughts of possible threesome going into his mind, but he did not dare speak of it to Olivia.

Olivia smiled and laughed. "I meant case. Not Casey!"

"And what it just slipped out?" Nick laughed. He gently pulled her in for another kiss. "Let's talk over dinner tonight. I'll cook my famous chicken and salad."

"Mm, got anything better than that? I mean romantic…" Olivia suggested.

What they didn't know was Munch, Rollins and Fin were watching from behind two trees near the station.

"Did she do that to her last partner?" Asked Rollins, she looked surprised but she couldn't help smile.

"He wished." Fin said. "He was married."

"Separated for two years and then got back to get together with the tramp. He missed out on Olivia. At least Nick's getting some on the side. Who would have thought him and Livie-bee?" Munch asked.

Olivia and Nick sat in the car for a moment.

"I really want to make this work. I do." Nick said with emotion as he grabbed Olivia's hand and kissed it. She felt that warm touch and that nice cologne that he was wearing. "I stayed here because of you. I changed my plans because I wanted you in my life. My daughter is dead, and I have to accept that. You helped me get through that darkest part of my life. You were there for me. Even before that, I came to really like you respected you for what you are. I Love you for you, Olivia. Not for what you just did for me and helped me with my daughter. I love you because you made me feel special, which I didn't feel for a long long time."

Olivia looked at and studied his face as she watched him pour out his hear to her. The guys she dated were never that emotive, nor truthful with their feelings, but she sensed so much emotion and love in what he was saying. It was one of the things in the year or so they were together as partners, she came to love and respect.

Olivia leaned forward. She grabbed him for another passionate kiss, this time not stopping, not doubting his emotions, not doubting her own, for the first time, she was in the moment. In a relationship. In love. Feeling that strength and power that she hadn't felt for a long time. With Nick. On the inside her heart was beating like a sledge hammer, thrilled and excited at the same time for not letting her head and her job rule her heart.


	5. Chapter 5

**CORONER'S OFFICE  
11.30AM**

Melinda Warner was on the computer when Nick and Olivia walked in. She looked up and smiled and saw that Olivia's blouse was missing a button and revealed bit more of her chest.

"Decided to dress up for the dead?" Melina joked as she stood up.

"Huh?" Olivia frowned.

"You're missing a button." Melinda pointed at Olivia's blouse.

Olivia looked down to see that Melinda was right. She quickly looked at Nick and immediately pulled the jacket over her.

Nick smirked.

Melinda caught that look and then turned to Olivia. "I guess what you two do in the car on the way here is none of business."

Olivia's face flushed red with embarrassment as Nick just kept his eyes to the ground, trying to avoid Melinda's stare, but if he had looked up he would have saw that she had a smirk on her face as well.

"I guess we're here to see what you got on the vic." Olivia said, trying to change the subject. "So anything?"

"Well he was raped in the scrotum with a blunt sharp object. I'm guessing a hammer and a knife. With the knife , you're looking for a specific knife used by cooks. A steak knife. The sharp tongue of the knife left a straight imprint on what's left of his scrotum. They also cut off the top of the shaft of his penis. We didn't find his missing bits at the crime scene, so I'm guessing whoever did this guy, took some of it as trophy." Melinda explained. "I also found traces of heroin and cocaine in his system. He was high at the time of death. On the side of his neck I found a choke chain imprint. He was either chain choked, raped or then they chains awed him. No way can I tell which came first though."

Nick looked at Olivia. 'So this guy must have been with someone when he died. I reckon he knew his killers."

"Funny you should mention that Amaro, because that's what I thought too, they left a message on his buttox." Melinda explained as she unearthed the sheet from his body. Kamo's pale body still smelt a bit, but it was something they were all used too.

Nick read the message out loud. "'You are a disgusting piece of shit. You deserve this death.' Wow, charming."

"The message was carved with a knife while he was being brutally raped in the scrotum. The blood didn't dry as quick as I expected it too, that's how I could tell." Melinda explained. "Whoever did this, was volatile, planned it to the last bone. They sent a message and they were clearly angry about it."

"Is there a way you can test for any DNA prints on his body? I mean, could you tell if he had sex with his sister?" Nick asked, clearly he was uncomfortable with even asking it. Melinda noticed this.

She frowned. "The sister and the brother were having sex?"

"A 'consential' relationship that involved just not only sex but rough games as well. According to her statement she and him used to play lassie with ropes and chians. Don't ask, Melinda. We're still trying to get our heads around it."

Melinda looked at Kamo's body. "Whoever killed him obviously was raged about the relationship. This killing involved hatred, and betrayl. Hope you find the killer."

Nick and Olivia thanked Melinda and then walked out. When they got in the car. Olivia looked at Nick.

"You think she knows?" Asked Olivia, slightly worried.

"That we had sex?" Nick asked with a smile. Obviously quite proud of the moment.

"I think the button missing is a dead give away. I just hope no one else will pick up on it." Olivia said as Nick started the car.

"I still want to talk to you, Liv. Just because we had sex, doesn't mean it's just going to be about that. I want something more, I don't want it to be just that it was a once off, and get it out of your system. I want more. I love you. I just want you to know that. And if you don't want more then that, you have to tell me tonight. I just…I love you."

He holds her hand and then kisses it with his mouth. "I don't want anything to hurt us."

Olivia looked as if she was about to cry. _He really has a gentle soul. Most caring, I have seen in my life. And it's quite a turn on._

He continued to kiss her hand. "Te quiero para siempre."


	6. Chapter 6

**DEANNA CUNNINGHAM'S APARTMENT  
12.15PM**

Deanna was sitting on the couch playing with her hair and rubbing one of magazines on the table with her foot. Rollins and Fin were sitting there waiting for her to answer the question about her apparent consential relationship with her brother. They watched as she made noises to herself and started talk to herself.

"Oh my god I am so cute." Deanna said so loudly. She snorted and then licked her glass of wine and sniffed it.

Fin and Rollins looked at each other, quite dumbfounded and confused by the performance that she was giving. It seemed her brother's death meant nothing to her and that she was now concerned only for herself and her own body image. Deanna then got her Mac Book Pro out and showed them a picture of Paris Hilton's breasts.

"Whoa, hello!" Rollins cried out looking away. "Why are you showing us this?"

She watched as Finn continued to look at the photo. She slapped him on the arm, hard.

"Hey!" He protested. "It could be evidence."

"For your collection." Rollins finished with a disgusted look on her face but eventually smiled.

"Do you think my breasts could be shaped like hers? Just imagine if they were, we were so totally be beasties! Grabbing guys to touch our emotional boosms. Kamo was fine with the way my breasts. I was bitterly disappointed when he told me the other night that he loved me for me. Can you believe guys? You offer to trade in your breasts for new ones, and they tell you they love you. Suck balls, guys. Suck balls." Deanna complained.

"Look we need for you to tell us when did this sexual relationship between you and your brother start. At what point did you begin the relationship and were you two involved with anyone else when you guys started banging each other." Fin said. "So let's put down any surgical hopes and dreams and save that for another time. Your brother is dead, and we would like you very much to co-operate with us in solving his murder."

Deanna looked at Fin and sighed annoyingly. "Okay he may be dead, but I have to live my life to the fullest, his death is quite interrupting my life to be honest. How dare he die on me this way."

"Did Kamo have any enemies that you know of? Did you have any enemies?" Fin asked as he took out his notepad, making some notes on his pad. _Bitch, real nutter! _

Deanna laughed as if she was pish posh and licked her hand for dramatic effect. "We are a couple. Or were. Everyone loved us. Truly."

"But how many of the people you knew actually knew about your incestial relationship with your brother?" Fin asked.

"Everyone did. They were incredibly accepted by our relationship. Most of them were wanting us to get married." Deanna explained with a beaming smile, then the smile faded when she thought of someone she knew dearly who had a problem with the relationship. "But someone did have a problem with it though, I guess I must be honest with you. Are we done?"

"Can you give us a name?" Rollins asked.

"Um..why?" Deanna asked pretending to be stupid. She flicked her hair all over her face and wiggled her butt on the couch. "If I gave you her name, she would be very mad and I could be dead by the next day. She is a very vicious friend. She's done hard time."

Fin and Rollins looked at each other, quite concerned and quite confused by Deanna's demeanour and behaviour.

"Look Deanna, stop this okay. Stop hindering the investigation. Your brother is dead. He was murdered. Do you get that? We don't get why you are acting like someone who wants to get a thrill off drugs. Do you get that your brother was murdered?" Fin demanded rather irritated by Deanna and her whole behaviour.

"Okay. Well you promise me you protect me from Sharon Walker, right? She's done seriously hard time." Deanna whispered sniffing Fin's hair. He pushed her away as they all stood up.

"In prison?" Asked Rollins.

"No. Library. She's a librarian." Deanna responded.

"Did she also know Kamo?" Rollins asked as she took down the name.

"Of course she was married to Kamo before I stole him away. They were in the toy making business together until my beloved Jesus, Kamo, saw the light and returned to me physically, sexually and mentally." Deanna then started digging at her ass. "Anything else? I need to go do poopoie!"

She then skipped to the toilet, leaving Fin and Rollins staring in disbelief. Seconds later. They heard a gun shot down the hall where Deanna had skipped.

They pulled out the guns.

Rollins and Fin looked at each other wondering what was going to greet them at the end of the hallway in the bathroom!


	7. Chapter 7

Fin burst into the bathroom shouting "POLICE!" to find Deanna on the floor crying in pain. Blood was all over her and half of her had was missing, most of it, oozing around the floor beside her.

Rollins came in and gawked and almost threw up in her mouth. "Oh my god, what did you do?"

"Promise me you protect me!" Deanna screamed in tears and pain. "Oh my god my hand!"

Fin immediately took off his jacket and grabbed a towel and wet it and immediately put it against the wound where half her hand used to be.

"Keep this on tight, it's going to hurt, a lot!" Fin explained in shock. "Why did you do this? What's wrong with you?"

Deanna looked at Fin. "She is not going to be happy."

"Who?" Rollins asked as she got off the phone, having just got off the phone with paramedics. "You mean, Sharon? Do you think she hurt Kamo?"

"I'm in pain! It hurts! It hurts!" Deanna screamed as Fin put more pressure, as he did he noticed how paler Deanna began to look, and it was not a good sign.

"How long till the ambos get here?" Fin called to his partner as she came back into the room and helped him with the pressure of the wound with another towel.

"15 minutes." Rollins said, she took one good look at the now very sleepy and pale Deanna who was now barely keeping her eyes open.

Rollins said softly , so Deanna couldn't hear. "I don't think she's going to last that long."

Fin nodded, sadly but in agreement.

"Well what else can we do? She's going to die if we move her suddenly to take her to the hospital!" Fin snapped. He looked at Deanna , figuring that it was her last chance she might be able to give up more information for them about this person of interest and Kamo's murder.

"Why did you do this? Why are you so scared of this lady?" Fin asked.

He saw blood starting to form out Deanna's mouth as she began to gasp for air as she struggle to speak. He gently caressed her hair so that the blood that was currently spitting out of her like moose, wouldn't touch it.

"I love...I love..."Deanna then gurgled on her own blood and then her life was gone. Her empty eyes just staring blankly at fin and a smile that was on her face had now somewhat dissipated of colour as the blood kept flowing.

He cradled the deranged woman in his arms and looked at Rollins.

"What the hell have we stumbled into here?" Asked Rollins.

**SVU PRECINT**

**1.40PM**

Fin was at his desk thinking about Deanna and the way she ended her life. He should have foreseen it coming. With the way she was acting, and the alcohol she had consumed. Even though she didn't think he noticed, but he noticed the 18 empty wine glasses and bottles of wines that were on the kitchen bench when he had entered the house.

He watched as Rollins walked in with a complete change of clothes. "Hey, you wrote up your report yet?"

"About to do it now." Rollins said as she approached him. She studied his gloomy face. "You okay?"

"We got two vics now." Fin said sadly. It didn't sit well with him. He just couldn't work out what went wrong with Deanna. She was troubled girl, but to kill herself and make herself suffer was something out of ordinary for him to witness on this job.

"Yeah, I know. Doesn't sit well with me either. So I did a bit of digging into Deanna's rap sheet. She has quite an extensive record, Fin. She may not have been so innocent she claimed to be." Rollins said, breaking the news gently to him as she handed over to him.

He looked at the sheet. It was quite impressive for a deranged criminal with nothing to lead for her life except for her sexual affliction for her deceased brother, Kamo. She had charges dating back to her teens for sexual assault of teachers, police officers and homeless woman and men. Her charges became more extensive when she hit 21 and was living in West Virginia with her aunty. She had set up her own Fat Girls Model business and used them to to seduce the fat girls and take their money to spend on her own modelling career.

She was charged with 80 counts of fraud but she was so smart that one of the girls she worked for end up taking the fall for her. Somehow Deanna had them all conned and believe that she was the angel saviour and that if they took the fall she would bail them out. Never happened. Still rotting in jail to this very day.

Once she finished her studies in Education, she began teaching at a high school where she had several relationships with the librarians and administrative staff. Although it was never proven that she raped one of her many girlfriends, she was sacked and her licence to teach and working with children was revoked. Then Deanna devised a cunning plan to become a orderly worker and work her way into charming the elderly she worked with and their families in order to be left in the will. She was sentenced to prison for one ½ years on a man slaughter charge after she plead guilty for killing a 90 year old for her coin collection and her $200.00 she had in her life savings account.

Fin looked up from the sheet and gave Rollins a look of disgust. "Wow this girl has a criminal career down pat! Maybe we can speak to some of her old colleagues to give us an insight about her. Maybe one of them got released from prison and thought it was time for payback."

"Sounds good, I just got off the phone with Joseph Berry. He was her executive assistant before the firm went belly up. He had less than impressive things to say to me about her over the phone. He works in a insurance firm on Wall Street. Said for us to come meet him on his lunch break, which is about now actually." Rollins said as she flicked her hair over her shoulder, just because she could and gave a smile to Fin and then winked at him.

Fin gave her a confused look. _What the hell? She in heat or something like the other female New York detectives?_

**FAT CHICKS CAFÉ & LESBIAN ALLIANCE **

**KAMO CORPORATED (INC)**

**2.00PM**

Olivia and Nick had received some word about where Kamo used to hang out with his sister and girlfriend from their canvasing of Kamo's apartment. In the diary entry that Kamo had made in his computer diary he met with several people from this company or charity (if you count the lesbian allowance) the day before he was brutally murdered. Michael Cesary, Mitch Piggledy and Jason Gabrielle.

Three high powerful influential stock brokers from other toy companies in New York. When Olivia read the diary, it did not go into details about why there was a meeting scheduled with the three people but it was a start. They could find out how well these men knew about Kamo Cunningham.

When they arrived they found all three men playing Barbie and Ken Dolls at the receptionist desk. The blonde receptionist, who was dressed in bloody and stained blouse and a real short skirt, was playing with GI Jane Austina Action fingers with the men. In the simulated toy creation all three plastic Barbie dolls were having their way with Jane Austina.

People in the room who were waiting for meetings were looking on in excitement and cheering on for the brutal killing of one of the dolls. While other people were sipping coffees and talking excitedly about the next upcoming toys that were being made to "recolonise" the market.

Olivia and Nick stood dumbfounded and looked at each other. To them, it was adults in diapers playing with kids toys. Who knew that there were adults in high powerful positions and in expensive Italian suits playing toys with other people? What the hell was this?

"Uh excuse me,"Nick called flashing his badge as he and Olivia approached the three men and the receptionist at the desk. "Police, we need to ask you a few questions about one of your associates, Kameron Cunningham."

The red haired man, Michael Cesary, who wiped the dolls hair he was playing with on his chin, turned and frowned. "What about him? He's missing out on this great business meeting! Man he's going to be so jealous that three of us raped a plain Jain doll in forty six minutes."

Olivia gave Michael and his friends a nasty look. She growled. "Right, stop what you are doing right now! This is important! You can play with your stupid kiddy toys when I say you are done! Okay!?"

The men and the receptionist put their toys down gently on the table, carefully not allowing the table to do any damage to their "special loves."

The receptionist burped and scratched her pimple below her wart on her face and then burped again. "How can we help you detectives?"

"Right you can tell us why you think rape is so funny?" Nick demanded, quite annoyed and angry by these 'adults.' He knew that these were the type of people were hiding something, always were, some dark part of themselves or secret that they wanted to mask with play acting or with a personality transplant. When he looked into Jason's eyes, he could see something dark about the guy. Something uneven, and when he watched Jason lower his eyes towards his doll on the table, alarm bells in his stomach.

He wasn't sure what it was about the man, but he felt unsettled, a bit rattled about it. He looked rough and Nick hated dealing with those guys.

"Your associate, Kamo was brutally murdered this morning." Olivia said in a blunt tone to trying to shock them into taking this visit very seriously.

It worked because the female receptionist began screaming in complete tears and fell to the floor. Nick and Olivia watched and then turned to each other as they heard the receptionist grieving loudly. Other people in the foot of the vicinity of the desk began crying their hearts out. A five year old kid started hitting his mom and screamed. "Our god is dead!"

Nick scratched his head. "Okay, am I missing something here?"

**SVU PRECINT**

**3.00PM**

Nick and Olivia were interviewing Jason Gabrielle. He adjusted his Italian suit jacket and checked himself in the mirror before pimping himself up in the mirror and then turning back to sit down across the room from the detectives. They studied his face, it seemed to be calculating, thinking, and anticipating the next move in this game, like a chess piece. That was until they saw him let some tears run down his face. A first sign of emotion he shared since they broke the news of Kamo's murder. He grabbed some tissues out of his pockets and folded it into two pieces and damped it on his eyes to clear the tears.

"Poor Kamo, he was such a good man. He didn't deserve to die." Jason said, trying to compose his emotions. He sat up straight and looked straight ahead towards to Nick.

"I gather Kamo was close with the receptionist." Nick started, trying to eage the tension of the room. He thought maybe if they could ease up a bit, maybe he could share some light into Kamo give the details that they needed to fit together in order to piece together his last minutes of his life and who he spent them with. He nodded at Olivia, and she nodded, they were both on the same page, and didn't need to verbalize it between the two of them.

In Nick's mind, he could invasion Olivia saying "thank you" and then kissing him, he had to wipe the smug smile he had on his face, which Olivia caught. She gave him a look and he cleared his throat.

"Well we were all close to Kamo." Jason answered the question, carefully choosing a vague answer that was not direct in any of its implications. Jason knew things about Kamo and his sick sister and about their history and he was trying to be careful as to what to say to the detectives.

"I see your face, Jason. I see the way you are thinking and pausing, trying to calculate what sort of answer you think might satisfy me. As long as it doesn't give away too much information about the man that is lying on a cold slab with his balls beside him." Nick said in a cold and callous way, trying to rattle Jason.

It kind of worked as Jason shifted uncomfortably when Nick showed him again the photo of the mutilated body of Kameron Cunningham.

"Please stop showing me that! I don't want to remember him like that!" Jason screamed.

"Tell us everything you know about Kamo, how he is connected to your business. What his relationship with his sister was? What enemies did he have?" Olivia shouted from where she stood. "My partner is really angry and it's hard to calm him down when he's rattled. Gee, my old partner was just as bad, but Detective Amaro broke a perp's leg. Total accident of course , you want the same thing to happen?"

"Thanks for the confidence." Nick said blowing her a kiss.

"You too, cupcake." Olivia said blowing a kiss back with a smile.

Jason seemed confused by this. "What the fuck? Are you two dating too?"

"Is this guy stupid? Cragen asked Assistant District Attorney Leanne Jackson.

"Seems he's acting the part. Captain, can I ask why am I here?" She seemed bored by what she was seeing in the interrogation room. Leanne Jackson was no stranger when it came to police interrogations. She only dealt with finance law prosecutions and had quite liked putting away the managers, ceos and CFOS who were trying to cheat the tax and stock market system. It was what she was born for. Smooth at cutting deals and smooth at ensuring a quick vicious snap verdict against the defendants. Her accountability in this was 99.5% perfect. Not one single of the cases she had since 2009, had been quashed. She had won them all. She knew the finance law in and out. She also knew how to play defendants against their own lawyers (something, which may come in handy in SVU). Her taste for numbers lead her to a degree in Accounting and Finance Law and Stock Market masters at University of Minnesota. After that she landed a job at a prestige accounting firm Skylander and Leia. After a three year stint there and getting bored of dealing with the same old pathetic new Yorkers with accounting and maths problems she obtained a job as a Stock Market analysis for a oil and rigs firm. It was there after a 5 year position as CFO she was offered a job with the District Attorney as an assistant dealing with prosecution of financial crimes. Leanne didn't understand why she was then transferred only after a year in that particular area, to the SVU division. This was something outside of her area and was not sure whether this was going to be a good mark on her career. But she took it on the chin. This was her first case, her very moment. And it knocked her for six.

"Jason has a clean record. Nothing to even suggest that he may be into some illegal activities. This is his first business venture with the deceased. Not sure what the hell this lesbian alliance firm does, but I guarantee you, it's anything but normal. We can only hope that he may know something about the victim's death. We have two. Kamo's sister topped herself in front of Fin and Rollins earlier today. Your role here is to provide us general counsel. This is not finance law, just so you know. It's anything but straight forward." Cragen said handing her the folder.

Leanne looked at it. The Captain was right, Jason was the perfect citizen. No criminal history. Not even a parking ticket. Always payed his taxes and even volunteered at high school working with children with learning difficulties. She looked down at his education and skimmed through. Education history was normal. Got himself a hell of a lot of degrees in finance, customer service, finance law and tax law and a short course in Stock Market investing. This guy was clean. If he had something going on the side – he kept it well hidden.

"Again, why am I here for? This is not my area of expertise you idiot." Leanne said with a smug tone and rather bored. She would rather be having a latte at StarBucks on Fifth Avenue. She gave Cragen the evil eye. He looked at her, quite annoyed at the name calling he had just copped.

He shoved his hands in her pocket. "Look, you are not doing yourself any favours by getting me angry or off side for that matter. The D.A's who worked here before you, were good at your jobs. I'm sure you are good at yours. This is a whole new ball play, I need for you to suck up your whinging about being transferred and do your job. If you have to learn from one of our previous ADAS, then by all means go do it, but don't you stand here and insult me because you think this job is beneath you."

"Whatever." Leanne said raising her hand to his face. "I won't be talked to like that. If you are going to waste my time in pointless face to face of these stupid interrogations, then I am not going to co-operate. Bottom line Captain Fagen or whatever Bagon wagon, call me when you have a confession so I can do my job. This is not part of my job. Okay? You may think you got the DA around wrapped in this unit, but I aint playing. So fuck you and good day sir."

Cragen watched her along with Fin and Rollins who had just started to walk over, as she grabbed her briefcase and walked out of the SVU precinct in a hurry.

"What the hell was that?" Rollins asked, quite shocked.

"A mini Sonya Paxton." Fin replied.

"Who?" Rollins asked confused, not getting the reference.


	8. Chapter 8

"We did see Kamo on the night of his death. We did. But we didn't have a hand in it." Jason said as she shifted in his seat. He was nervous about being in the police station. "We had a stock holding meeting. There were some issues with one of our clients who were very concerned about the investments Kamo was making with his money. When we met up with Kamo on the night of his death, he told us about concerns about the investor threatening him"

"Threatening him? Did he call the police?" Asked Olivia.

"Well no, Kamo didn't believe in getting the police involved in his own affairs. I assumed after we met that he was going to meet the client that was threatening him after the concerns were washed under the carpet. "Jason explained. "The client was concerned that Kamo was investing money in dud operations that opened and closed within a three month radius, barely making a profit or even a dent in the stock market."

"What were these companies that he was investing in?" Olivia demanded to know. Nick got out his notepad ready to make notes. He thought about kissing Olivia right there and then, but decided against it and just tried to keep focused on the case at hand.

He looked at her as she sat down. _God she smells nice._ Nick thought in a loving thought. He felt himself get aroused at the though and put his hands on his crutch of his black suit pants to settle himself down.

"They were small companies. Mainly toy companies. They were local people who were making the odd toys here and there. If someone killed Kamo, it would be one of those people. They were really pissed off when he split with their money. Not just the shareholders were pissed at him, but these small families he was ripping off were too! "Jason said with distain in his voice. He was frustrated and angry. He prided himself on being a good businessman, stock trader and corporate manager. He believed he was making good decisions for the business and the firm that he partnered with.

"And you confronted him about it when the threats became real huh? You tried to man up to Kamo and get him to resign because you didn't want to see the empire you built destroyed by Kamo's reckless and weird behaviour?" Nick asked, condemning Jason. He knew he wasn't guilty, but he enjoyed getting this guy round up. It seemed he wasn't used to confrontations that were vile with rage.

"No!" Jason protested. "I told Kamo last week that the board of directors and the rest of us were going to have a meeting to discuss outing him from the company. I warned him because I cared about him, he was still my friend and I loved him. But he had to know that what he was doing with our clients and the business ventures and decisions he was making was wrong and it was hurting us financially and in the stock market. The toy industry is cut throat and we were becoming a laughing stock. We didn't want to be dragged down. Kamo had to know that his behaviour was not going to be tolerated. I personally did not want to see him go, I tried to argue that he be bumped down and in charge of another division within our company. Human Resources or Marketing, but the BOD and the others didn't want to go for that. Neither did his sister, Deanna."

"Denna Jamieson?" Asked Olivia, her eyes went wide with surprise. "How was she involved in the management and strategic decisions of the company?"

"Deanna was Kamo's investor. She was the one that forked the Million dollars to get our business into gear and into the market five years ago. She inherited from their grandmother."

"She got a name?" Olivia asked. It sounded like that Deanna had done some dodgy dealings to get that money.

**SVU SQUAD ROOM**

**2.10pm**

"There is no Wynonna Ryder in the system. Not even birth, marriage or death even heard of this so called 'grandmother.'." Olivia said as she slammed the phone down. Nick looked up.

"According to Warner the only person related to Deanna and Kamo is a Kelli Jamieson. She is their sister and according to their financial and correspondence they discovered Kelli's existence about a month before Kamo's murder." Nick said with a smile on his face. "I got a hit off the system, she works at the New York Public Library. I'm going to head over there and talk to her. See what kind of relationship she had for the past month with her long lost sister and brother. Want to join me?" Nick stood up and put on his suit jacket. Olivia found herself staring at his crutch for the longest time, thoughts of kissing Nick appearing before her eyes again. She looked at him and he looked at her. This would be the perfect moment for them to talk and build upon a new chapter in the relationship. She wanted him and her bones ached for the man. He wanted her.

Olivia decided to go with him, she grabbed her jacket and they both walked into the lift. As soon as the lift doors closed, Olivia grabbed him by the shoulders and threw him to the wall of the lift, making Nick moan in surprise as she kissed him. He put his hands around her and felt her up the spine as he kissed her passionately back. The sensation. The experience. The moment. This was it. This was them giving in temptation.

"I love you!" Nick said to her silently. "Always have! I Love you."

The declaring of love was not met by Olivia at that point. So she said. "I care for you so much, Nick."

Nick pulled back from the kiss suddenly. His eyes looked crushed his heart stopped pounding and a sadness came over him. He felt like he had crushed.

Olivia was taken aback by Nick disembarking from the kiss. She looked at him. "Look, Nick, I do care for you. I think we need to take time to develop what this could be. Start off…"

"Are you kidding me? You're pulling this crap on me now? You just attacked me in the elevator!?" Nick screamed, fuming out Olivia running out of the potential of the growth in their relationship, using the excuse that they needed to take things slow. He put his hands on his hips and shook his head. He pressed a button on the lift to stop it moving so whoever was waiting for the lift wouldn't interrupt what he was about to give Olivia a piece of his mind.

"Nick, we work together. We have to be careful, we can't be caught out. We need to just take slow, and I need time to try and work this." Olivia said in a blunt tone, not trying to be mean or anything, but it came out as a smack across the face for Nick. She was trying to handle him like a cuddled child, trying to protect him from the harsh reality of herself and she could see that he didn't want that, he didn't buy that. She couldn't understand that he wanted her too. He loved her. Olivia didn't want to see that. He just wasn't Elliot, Olivia thought.

"You're no Elliot." Olivia said.

She didn't plan on saying it, not out loud, Nick looked hurt. He kept his fists together. He wanted to punch the wall of the elevator.  
He just stood there for a moment and had a look of anguish and a look of tiredness. "I can 't be bothered anymore, Liv."

"Wait, Nick, I didn't mean it like that. I have issues, and…" Olivia started to say as she approached him but he pushed her hard back and she hit the elevator wall.

"No. I went through a lot when my daughter died. You helped me through that. We got close, I felt something and I know that night after that kiss at the pub. You felt something too. But your denying it and I can't be bothered chasing after someone who doesn't want to confront her own true feelings. I know you love me, Liv. I know it. It's in my gut. I can't chase after you if you are going to deny them to me and not be true to yourself."

Olivia sighed. "It's complicated, I have had so many bad relationships, I can't judge anymore how's going to turn out."

"Seriously?" Nick asked in a sarcastic tone. "Just because you had some previous bad relationships, you are trying to for see if we're going to be great together. Well my god! Here it is ladies and gentlemen – Olivia running away from the unknown! Probably why Elliot left you as well – because he got so sick of your melodramatic crap!"

His voice had risen. Olivia was frustrating him and stringing him along and he just couldn't be bothered playing the game anymore.

"Hey, you leave Elliot out of this; this has nothing to do with Elliot!" Olivia screamed.


	9. Chapter 9

"Of course it does Olivia. Everything you have said, everything you did and everything you think about has been 'Elliot left did he leave me? What did I do?'. You can't move passed him. Face it Olivia for over ten years you were in love with him and didn't do anything about it to get into his pants. Let's face it you are not good at relationships. I am not either! But that's the whole point, taking a risk. You regret not taking a risk with Elliot, and your afraid to take a risk with me because you are afraid that you have feelings that will make you happy. You say you care for me, but I know it's more then that. You just want to deprive yourself of being true to yourself and to have a normal healthy relationship. I love you, Liv! Why can't you just let yourself be honest with yourself and be happy for once? Stop being the relationship heartache victim and just grow some balls and head into the unknown. If you can't do that, Liv, then you will never be happy."

Olivia was taken aback at how insightful Nick was. He was right in that regard. Before she had a right chance to reply, she watched turn away from her and faced the elevator door and press the button to resume for elevator to going down.

**KELLI JAMIESON'S APARTMENT**

**LEVEL 25 OCTOGON APARTMENT BUILDING, NYC NEW YORK**

Kelli Jamieson was not your average fat girl. She was not your average girl at all. Some would consider her to be a person who cared about everything that she touched ,felt, saw or even read. Some of her friends could tell you she was an idiot but also truly loyal to her best friends and family. The 31 year old Businesswoman from Perth, Western Australia (Australia) moved to New York to find her hopes and dreams in a Librarian career. She had moved and studied at Hudson University in Librarianship and then studied an extra 2 years at NYC University. However when opportunity came knocking for a Library Accountant and Technician at the New York Public Library, Kelli took it up. And has been happy in her position ever since.

Her apartment was modern. Over two floors. Her master bedroom and study area/library upstairs and the kitchen and formal lounge room and hallway to the entrance door of the apartment located just underneath. The apartment was swank. Paintings from high popular modern area artists hung just about every wall in the apartment. Three Orange MyPads sitting on the kitchen bench and a Orange My Book Laptop sitting on the floor with some files from her work. Noticeably though there was broken glass and dinner utensils and spoiled food on the floor. Beside the mess of the laid a kitchen knife and Kelli Jamieson's purse, which was open and sprawled all over the floor. Change and notes having leaked beside the purse. Beside them was blood spatter.

Olivia and Nick found the apartment door open. With their guns in front they proceeded into the apartment.

They didn't risk dare to shout out, as they could be disturbing someone in the middle of the robbery. They slowly walked through the entrance hallway and noticed blood spatter on the wall and glass all over the hard wood floor.

"What a mess." Olivia stated. She looked around as Nick went up the stairs. The place was a mess. Whoever was here with Kelli, sure did the once other. Judging by how much blood was downstairs in the kitchen and in the hallway, Olivia knew that Kelli was dead and that the purp took the body with him or her. Question was - How? She looked at the window and noticed no fir escapes.

"Liv!" She heard Nick called.

A body perhaps?" Olivia thought.

She hurried up the stairs and found Nick staring at the master bedroom. More blood and the drawers and the bed had been turned over.

Blood stained on the sheets and another knife found on the floor, all bloody.

"I think someone got to Kelli, before we did." Olivia said with a worried look. "So much blood down stairs, I am hoping that she put up a fight at least. There is no way she could still be alive after the amount of blood lost. We better get CSU over here."

Nick ignored her and went over to the broken lamp. He noticed something beside it and bent down to take a closer look. It looked like an sd digital memory card.

It was still in perfect condition.

"Hey, liv. Found n SD card by the broken lamp. Hopefully tech may get something off it." Nick announced.

"Whatever the poor girl went through, she was tortured. There is so much blood every around this house. And I can't find anything that would warrant an intruder to do so much damage to her." Olivia said. She then looked in the closet. She switched on the light and found on the floor opened letters on the ground in a heap. Nick appeared behind her.

They bent down and grabbed a letter each.

Nick and Olivia looked at eachother. From what they had read, it was a love affair relationship between Kamo and Kelli. Even though they were related by blood, the letters had in detail sexual fantasies and admiration of one another. Judging by the dates of the letters, they had been corresponding since 2008. Prior to Kelli's arrival in America.

CSU were canvasing the scene a while later. Nick and Olivia were still going through a few more boxes of letters.

"These letters, it seems Kamo and Kelli knew about eachother all along. This relationship dates back to even before 2008." Nick said, he had a look of disgust in his eyes. "What kind of sick pervert wants to date their own sister?"

"Half-sister." Olivia corrected.

"It's still sick. They are related by blood, Liv. Okay sure back in the 1800s it might have been common, but we're grown since then as a society and a country. Probably Australian thing, like crocodile Dundee." Nick argued.

"Detectives?" Melinda called from the bedroom.

Olivia and Nick put down the letters on the kitchen table and went back into the bedroom where Melinda was.

Melinda was bent down analysing the blood on the floor with her analysing the blood. "It looks like there was two victims in this apartment. There are two different blood types, Type B and Type C. Kelli a Type C according to the records you sent over to me."

"So who's the type B?" Asked Olivia.

"That's your job to find out. I'm just giving you the facts. I am going to take the blood back with me and see if it's in the system. Whoever did the killing, did a good job of it. I can tell you though that the attack started at the entrance of the hallway. So it looks like the vic opened up the door and took a few steps, had her back towards the aggressor." Melinda explained. "Judging by the splatter of the blood in the hallway he stabbed her with a few knives. The blood in the kitchen is both from the Victim and from the Type B Blood. The second person was in the kitchen washing up when he or she began to get brutalized."

"Have you seen anything like this before? This isn't a random attack, but I am still trying to work out how it relates to our murder we are currently investigating. It can't be random. Kamo's murder was brutal and Deanna's suicide was forced, so who's targeting these people? The MO familiar to you?" Nick asked, getting frustrated at all the new twists.

"No, most stabbings are done with passion from what I can analyse from the blood spatter. But this was not done with passion. It was with so much brute force, it feels like some kind of thrill, but you would want to check with your psychiatrist with that." Melinda stated. "I hate these cases. Looks like you will be looking for two bodies. Sorry. There is no way that your vics could survive such a brutal attack."

Nick and Olivia looked at eachother. This case was getting weirder, violent and stranger at the same time.

**St Guards Church**

**34****TH**** AND TENTH**

Rollins was given the task to contact Kelli Jamieson's friends. She went through Kelli's diary back at the precinct and came across a entry for a private session with Priest John Edwards. Although the details were sketchy, Rollins thought it might be a good lead to check out and see if Kelli was in trouble or had any issues that she confided in him that she didn't want to confide in other people.

She walked into the church and was immediately greeted with the darkness un the hallway. She closed the door behind her and immediately jumped when it shut behind her. She felt uneasy being in the church, she hadn't stepped in once since she was seven. Her priest was an asshole and the memories of the priest and his viciousness and abuse was starting to come back to her as she moved toward the pues. She touched the pue and immediately jumped when a voice called out to her.

"Detective Rollins?" Priest Edwards called out from the front of the church. He was by the base filling the cup with red sacrificial wine.

He narrowed his eyes as she slowly began walking down the aisle. "I got your message from one of my staff. You said you wanted to see me about someone that I counsel frequently?"

"Yeah, that's right." Rollins said as she approached him. She put her hands in her pocket to get her pen and notepad. "Is Kelli Jamieson a member of your church?"

"Yes, she's quite a regular parishioner. Comes here almost every night" Father Edwards engaged with the standard answer. "If you are here to ask me specifically if I discussed anything here, you know as well as I, the conversations that I have with my parishioners in confessionals is sacra cent."

"Unfortunately it won't mean nothing anymore if we find her body." Rollins said rather being grimily and not being cautious or tactful. Rollins knew sometimes she could be careless, but all she cared about was finding Kelli alive or dead. She didn't want to have to play fiddle diddle and political correctness of how to handle Priest, when there was a life out there that my needed saving.

Priest Edwards look almost white when he heard those words. He stopped what he was doing, trying to process the news that Kelli could be dead He looked at Rollins, visibly distressed by the news. His face was nearly white and tears whelming up in his eyes.

"She always suspected she could disappear one day." Priest Edwards admitted. "Our confessionals, were very intimate and very telling about the danger she faced. I guess if she is dead, we know it to be at the hands of someone she loved truly with her heart."

"So you are willing to give me a name?" Rollins asked.

"I'm sorry, I cannot. You know I can't. The conversations in confessionals are respected by catholic rules and you know I can't break them. I wish I could help you." Priest Edwards said as he sat down. He put his hand on his hand and began crying.

"Can you at least point me to an address? If she's still alive, time is running out for her. If you cared for her you would at least give me an address that she may have visited last you hypercritical son of a bitch." Rollins screamed. She didn't mean to, but she just couldn't stand the church or the priest. She hated that Priests could get away with hiding stuff in confessionals and harbor any potential criminals under those strict guidelines. It did her head in all the time.

"Look when Kelli comes to me in confessional she's always distressed and crying. Last time I saw her which was two days ago she was bruised and cut and bleeding. I offered to take her to the hospital and asked her who did this to her, she told me his name and that she didn't want police involved. I have to respect that privacy. After I took her to the hospital she promised to come back and see me today when she has taken care of everything. I scheduled her for 12pm today, and when she didn't show I assumed she just forgot."

Rollins sighed and sat down next to the Priest. She could see that she was struggling with the guilt and she decided that being angry and demanding wasn't going to help her pleading or Kelli Jamieson. "Look I get that Priest Edwards, I do. But you have to understand the rule of confessionals can be thrown out if your parishioner is being harmed in anyway. If we can find her alive and get to her, all we need for you to give us the person who was harming her. Was she in abusive relationship?"

"It was a sick relationship. I told her so and that God would forgive her if she stopped it!" Priest Edwards cried in tears. "But she said she enjoyed it. The whole point of me counselling her in confessional was to get her to see that God does not approve of this sick twisted relationship that she was in. I knew her from when she was a child. She was originally born in Los Angeles, but then after her mother and father divorced her mother took her back to Australia to live. She had only just recently returned for her library career."

"Did she mention to you about a Kameron Jamieson? Did she mention anything about her half-brother or her half-sister Deanna?" Rollins asked. "The reason I am asking, is because I believe she may have gotten herself involved with some dangerous people and they may have done something to her."

"I met them." The Priest said, suddenly jerking up his back and turning to her with a smile. "Very lovely people. They took really care of her. I went over to Kelli's for dinner a couple nights ago. Lovely people." Priest Edwards said standing up suddenly. "Look I'm sorry but I have to prepare for the afternoon mass. I can't be any of more help to you at the moment."

"Please, father, don't hold back!" Rollins begged. "Just point me in the right direction."

"Okay, well I know she recently discovered she was pregnant. She wanted to keep the baby, but her man she was seeing was forcing her to have an abortion. I took note of the clinic where she was planning to go and have it done. I am not sure if she made it there or not." Priest Edwards said, motioning for Rollins to follow him to his office. They walked down a corridor and then turned right to the Priests office. Nothing was out of order in the mute black colour of the priest's office. In the middle of the room was a desk, paper work on the desk that related to the church and an portable tablet device and a detachable keyboard.

Priest Edwards slammed the door. "They were sleeping together! That sick fuck poisoned her mind!"

Rollins stood there completely god smacked by what she just heard from the Priest. She saw the look of disgust in his face as she rolled his hands into a fists and walked over to his desk. "I didn't want to believe it, but the way they were acting together that night confirmed many of the suspicions that had been arisen to me by the congregation"

"Were they showing it publically during your services? And how many people knew they were related?" Rollins asked.

"Deanna had come in to the church last week in a fit of rage, apparently, Kamo had been sleeping with her as well and when she found out that Kelli was going out with their brother, she let loose and let it slip very loudly while I was reading from the bible during service. I tried to keep my tongue , I discussed how wrong it was with Kelli, and she knew it was wrong but for some twisted reason that man encouraged it and she wanted to keep on seeing him. However when I last saw Kameron last he was very angry and agitated, he and Kelli had a major spat in front of my church. It was volatile. He hit her four times. I think he knocked her out as he had to drag her to the car. Detective I know I have broken the sacrament of the confessional, but my guilty consciousness of not being able to save Kelli from that horrible situation is now waying heavily on my conscious! I beg for you to forgive me!"

"You've held potential information about what can contribute to Kelli's possible death, and you want me to forgive you? Look I get it that you think you are such a piss ass on the high of taking the morality of the church with you when you go to these confessionals, but you have possibly contributed to the death of Kelli Jamieson. If you had suspected she was in danger you still had the chance to come forward with the information that may have saved her a trip to the morgue!" Rollins screamed and grabbed the priest by the arms. "Father, you are under arrestment for concealing knowledgement of a crime that may contribute to the death of a witness, you have the right to remain silent and anything you say may be used against you in the court of law. You have a right to…."

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS! I told you this because out of my guilt! You can't arrest me for being guilty of morals!" The priest screamed as she physically kicked him in the leg and they began moving down the hallway, past the parissioners and nuns who were looking on as she led him toward the head of the church.

"Hey morons! Is this what you want for a church leader? Someone who conceals crimes! Maybe you need to go to the head board of your church and hire someone that isn't you know fucked up in the head!" Rollins screamed. She knew what she did was a ground for immediate suspension, but she couldn't herself. She hated this guy. She hated how priests always played the victim. This time – this priest is going to get what's coming to him. For a moment she considered the possibilities of how this was going to do down with her captain back at the precint. She knew it wasn't going to go down well.


	10. Chapter 10

**SVU PRECINT**

**That evening**

"YOU ARE SO LUCKY THAT I DON'T PULL YOUR BADGE FOR THIS!" Screamed the Captain, who was absolutely furious at Rollins for what she had done with the Priest. He believed the arrest was premature and that any chance of him being completely co-operating had gone out the window. She was in the office sitting down, looking defiant and shameful at the same time while Cragen was letting rip at his detective.

While he was ranting, Rollins , was no stranger to being upsized by Captains in the Police department. Her last job she had an affair her captain, Marissa Jande Larsen, whom was hell bent on revenge after Rollins ended the relationship after she had cold feet about moving in with her. It was the whole reason for her transfer to SVU. To get away from her ex and the bullying that she received after she let the relationship fail into oblivion. She didn't know if she was still acting out because of that, but she knew what she did with the priest today was way out of hand Rollins was expecting to be censured for her actions.

"This is not like you Amanda, you want to tell me what you were thinking when you went over to talk to the priest?" Cragen said after a while as he calmed down and sighed and sat back down in his chair, watching his detective look ahead ashamed for what she had done.

Outside his office, Fin and Munch were watching from Nick's desk when Nick and Olivia walked in.

"Hey. Any luck with the forensics?" Fin asked.

"The photos on the digital camera turned out to be bust. If anything they just had her kissing Kamo and Deanna a lot. Nothing actually to suggest any other person could be involved. No drugs, no any specific measurable for criminal activity. You guys turn up anything?" Nick answered flatly, disappointed, because they still hadn't turned up anything on Kelli Jamieson and his confrontation with Olivia in the elevator had left him in a rather a distant kind of mood. Olivia stood by her desk and watched him, feeling a tiny bit guilty for messing with his head in the elevator.

Munch caught the look that she was giving him and he approached her. "Are you okay? Did I miss something between you two? You guys have a fight and want to book in a detective partnership marriage counsellor?"

Olivia smiled, glad of Munch's sense of humor. She giggled. "We're fine. Thanks. What's going on in there? Where's Rollins?"

"Getting her ass chewed up by Captain Cragen." Munch said with a snicker. He loved seeing newbie detectives getting into trouble.

Nick heard this and frowned. " ?"

"She went to speak to the local church where Kelli Jamieson was a parishioner. She and the father spent quality time in the confessional quite a lot lately. I don't know what happened, but Rollins came in and stormed him with the Priest in handcuffs. Later found out she was over zealous with the interview. Priest is considering slapping her with a restraining order. She also spread the word that our Priest who has some valuable information about Kelli and Kamo's special relationship, that Father Edwards was harbouring incensts in the congregation. Not exactly what I call her finest hour here at SVU."

Nick avoided looking at Olivia, he went back and sat down on his chest. He felt really bad for Rollins, truth be told, he's caused many Priests worse and been wrong about them, but the first time to be over zealous in a case like this and cause a harp heal with a priest, like Rollins did, took a confidence hit for the career. He remembered he busted open a Sunday school in Narcotics based on wrong information sent to him via email from an informant. He looked like a fool and an incompetent detective at that, and was put on desk duty for several weeks, after the fall out. Nonetheless a Sunday school teacher was dead and several kids were traumatized by that bad bust. Still to this day, considering he still believed in god , he never forgot about that and always preyed over the innocent woman that was caught and killed out in a bust that was wrong.

Everyone looked up when Cragen's door opened and Rollins came out , looking sheepish. If she thought she was going to get a reprieve from what she had to endure by Cragen, she was deadly wrong when the new ADA came bursting into SVU screaming for Rollin's name.

"Detective Amanda Rollins! Detective Amanda Rollins! You will answer me now!" ADA Leanne Jackson walked into the SVU Squad room standing behind Nick , he was covering his right ear as she was screaming.

"Look, lady you got a problem? Keep your voice down will you!?" Nick snapped.

"Where is she!?" She demanded to know folding her arms.

Cragen came out of his office behind Rollins. "What do you want ADA Jackson?"

"I want you to explain to my why you haven't got your detectives on a leash Captain Cragen. You are making my job harder then already it is. I got a complaint from a Father Edwards who claims that one of the SVU detectives was verbally harassing him and had arrested him on false pretences. He's considering a civil suit against the whole NYPD."

"I'm sure we can argue that's not what happened." Cragen said slightly annoyed. "I have reprimanded my Detective and they know if they step out of line, there is consequences. We can't afford to waste time on the DA's personal aim against one of detectives because a priest is claiming making false allegations that may not be punitive to the case."

Rollins spoke up and turned to the D.A "I don't know what that priest said to you but I did my job to the best that I could."

"He says you defamed him in front of his Parrish. You know what you did? You created me a whole ton of work and meetings so I can put the lid on this priest. Next time Detective Rollins, do your damn job properly, by the book and don't make it an ass fault scene. He's still screaming a law suit and if he goes a head I'll be sure to make you the target myself. I am not going to have the NYPD force or the integration of the Da's office ruined by your stupid behaviour."

"That is enough!" Nick screamed getting in the ADA's face.

Everyone around in the SVU squad room quieted down, upon hearing Nick's threatening scream. He had enough of this bitch. He had to protect Rollins from this woman. He wasn't sure why this ADA was so angry and antagonistic against his colleague and particular Captain Cragen, but he wasn't going to let her.

Rollins took a step back as Nick got into Leanne's face.

"We have enough to deal with, without you adding to our problems. You want to pick on Detective Amanda Rollins? For something that could be fixed with an apology to an over zealot bigot Priest, all you had to do was damn well ask! Don't you ever come her belittle my colleague ever again, you understand me? Previous Da's showed us respect in order to work with us and they go that back in return. What's your name? Leanne Jackson? Have disrespected us and my captain since you arrived, so get off on your pissed off I'm not happy to be here crusade and buckle your attitude and work with us. Don't you do this to Amanda again, or I swear to god you'll be out of here so fast your butt will hit the precinct doors."

No one said anything for a moment, too stunned and in awe of how Nick got into the face of the DA. She seemed to be embarrassed, her face had flushed red and she was darting around nervously to see if the Captain or anyone else would jump in her defence. But to no avail. None of them were really interested in muting anything Nick just said, they rather agreed with it.

"I see you can't even control your base, Captain. This will be reported and you will receive disciplinary action for insubordinate detectives. Mr Amaro, I know that you are still grieving for the death of your daughter, so I will forgive you for your outburst. You don't even speak to an ADA like that. Ever. Not in your lifetime." Leanne said stepping forward, gleefully smiling because she knew that was going to bate him. She could see his eyes flitch with anger and him restraining himself from saying anything further. She enjoyed moments like these. She hated cops who had no respect for her, and well she was given it back to what she received.

Olivia watched Nick shake his head and continue to squeeze his hands. He gave the ADA a dirty look and then walked away, before he did something he may regret.

"You calculating bitch." Olivia said walking up to her, ready to thump her one she deliberately walked into her and said. "You better get your ass out of here, we have a job to do."

In the SVU locker room, Nick was on one of the beds, looking at a photo of his dead daughter. He missed her badly. He didn't let it show, he couldn't let it show, but he was hurting inside. What his wife did, she finally won. She made him pay and he was. Suffering with the grief of dealing with the loss of a child, which no one could ever recover from. His tears revealed pain and the losslessness of hope he was consumed with. He pictured her final moments constantly, how terrified she must have been and why she thought her mummy was hurting like this. His tears flew from him like a river. He put the photo down on the bed and stood up. He growled and continue to growl and then he buried his head into his hands and continue with a loud sob. A horrific grief of sobbing that Olivia could hear from outside the door way.

She watched as he fell to the floor and continued to cry. Desperately she wanted to go in there and be there for her partner. Her friend. She opened the door and walked over to him, the door had slammed behind her. She put her arms around her partner and let him cry into her shoulder.

"My daughter's gone, Liv. She's gone. I'm never going to see her again. My Mia!, she's not here." Nick cried. "Never, never gonna see her again."

Olivia couldn't say anything to him, she just let him cry. She was madder with revenge and hatred for that D.A That bitch had it in for SVU and she didn't know why.

Olivia watched as Nick disembarked from her hug.

"I thought I could accept it. Deal with it. I can't. I can't. She knew was going to bring that up, she knew….Why….Why…I don't get it. Why is she doing this?" Nick screamed through his tears. "I can't live, I can't live without my daughter. I can't. It's not right. Tell me how I can fix this. TELL ME HOW I CAN FIX THIS!"

Olivia was struggling not to cry. She couldn't help herself. She found herself so wrapped up into Nick's grief she was grieving along with him. She couldn't bear to see him struggling through the loss of Aleisha.

"Liv, I don't…I don't know if I can live without her. It's not fair. I'm guilty." Nick mumbled through his tears as she helped back on the bed.

Olivia looked at him. She leaned forward and whispered to her giving her partner an intense look that made him look at her as soon as she leaned in and grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Don't you dare blame yourself, Nick. This is not on you. Aliesha's death is not on you. She would not want you to carry that guilt. It's not fair on you or on her. This is not your fault." Olivia said intently, she could see the words stinging him, but those sad eyes of his eyes told a different story. She saw the loss, the hope that had been taken away from him. He was trying to re-build his life, his career again, but it was out of an automatic response out of grief for his daughter. Those first few months were the hardest for Nick and she saw that every day she saw him. He was trying to forgive himself for not protecting her and he was punishing himself because he wasn't protecting her.

Nick banged his head against the wall. "I can't go forward, I can't go back! I'm stuck! My heart breaks, it breaks! It breaks! I'm here doing what I am doing suppose to do, grief and move forward, but I can't! I can't! I'm stuck. I can't get out of it."

"It's not easy. I can't imagine how terrible this is to lose a child." Olivia said. "But I've been with you every step of the way, Nick. You can allow yourself to move on, she would want that."

Nick's tears consumed him as pulled Olivia for a hug. Desperate to cling onto her in that moment, while he was feeling vulnerable.

She embraced him tightly as he sobbed. "You cry, all you want. I'm here for you. You cry all you want."

**ASSISTANT DISTRICT ATTORNEY'S OFFICE**

**CASEY NOVAK'S OFFICE**

**8.44AM**

Casey was on the phone with a judge organising a search warrant on a murder case she was working on. She hated working murder cases, especially ones from SVU. But she did it because she cared about getting justices for victims and for the families. However she hated the bearacrucy going on with the current DA shifting Da's into different District Attorney Departments. Casey was now working NYPD Homicides, not SVU cases. The DA felt her time with SVU was hindering useless and that if she was to retain a position with the ADA's office, she had to be moved to general homicide. Casey was reluctant to agree with the shifty move, she had no choice – otherwise she would be out of the job. She knew what it was about. It was the Nick Amaro case. They didn't get their killer. Instead she died by her own will. Suicide. That case had haunted her and haunted the office ever since and they were punishing her for it.

Still Casey couldn't complain to anybody, because it usually got back to the big boss and it would have just created more drama. She did miss seeing the old gang. She still followed Munch and Fin on Twitter and on Facebook, not much Olivia these days. Casey knew that their relationship was strained because of her closeness with Nick and the death of his daughter. Casey knew Olivia wanted justice and that his wife, should have not died the way she did. She should have been on trial and in prison.

However as she concentrated on her phone call she saw Olivia staring at her from the door way, and politely gently knocking. Casey lost trace of thought with her phone call and quickly finished it up. She didn't make any hurry to talk to Olivia, she just went about doing paper work and checking email letting Olivia stew for a bit at the doorway.

She looked up again, sighing. Barely saying. "Hi."

Olivia could tell Casey was pissed at her, and she probably had every right to be after their heated argument a week after the trial against Nick's wife went sour because of her 'suicide'.

"I know we said some things…" Olivia said quietly as she sat down across from Casey, nervous as hell to try and apologise to her former friend and colleague.

"First of all, stand up." Casey stated in a harsh tone. She wasn't going to allow Olivia to come in here, and try and dictate the conversation. She hated that bullshit now, she hated Olivia now. In a way Casey thought being taking away from SVU was a blessing, to get away from Olivia Benson and her drama.

"Excuse me?" Olivia asked, frowning, a confused look appearing on her face.

"I said 'stand up', Ms Benson." Casey stated in the most spiteful tone Olivia heard come from Casey in all the years she had known her. She watched as Casey eyed her intensely, with such hatred and a frown that could almost send out some needles to Olivia's face.

Olivia stood up.

"When you come into the office, you wait for me to call you in. Next time you make an appointment with my assistant. Okay?" Casey explained. "But since you are here now, what can I do for you Detective Benson?"

"Look Casey, I came here, to apologize…" Olivia started.

"That's 'Ms Novak' to you, Detective Benson." Casey interrupted. "Apology for what?"

"For the way we left things after the Amaro case a few months ago. It wasn't the result we didn't want. Least of all Nick. And the way I treated you, you were just doing your job." Olivia said, really nervous now. She felt her face go bright red with embarrassment as she realized that Casey was no longer he friend and that she had made a complete ass of herself.

Casey leaned back in the chair and seemed to take in the apology. "Thanks. I appreciate the apology."

Olivia breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that she would ease up on her, because she wanted to ask Casey about the new ADA that she assigned.

Casey then smiled and started to laugh. "You should have seen the look on your face when I was being really serious and hard ass with you. That was priceless. Shit scared and all. Thought you were going to cry. Or at least drop back out of the room."

Olivia shook her head and then eventually smiled. "You are two twisted Casey. That was just.. wow you remind me of so many other DAs."

"I know, I picked up a few tricks from some of them too." Casey said still enjoying her moment on Olivia. "I haven't seen you in a while Liv. How's things?"

"Going good." Olivia said finally able to relax.

"And Nick?" Casey asked.

"He's had a setback." Olivia said. The words left a bitter taste in her mouth. Because she knew that the ADA Jackson was part of that set back. "We got a new DA. Leanne Jackson, think she used to do Civil cases, I wanted to know if you worked with her."

"Oh I have heard stories about her. But working with her, those stories ring true to those long legs of hers." Casey admitted, with bitter distaste. She couldn't stand Leanne Jackson. She was a snob and she thought she was above everyone else because of her fancy degrees and the fact that she was civil prosecutor in civil and finance courts.

"Well she certainly has started a fight with us. For no apparent reason. She certainly did with Nick and Amanda yesterday. Thought Amanda was going to smack her one, but I was more worried about Nick. She brought up Aleisha as an insult."

Casey nearly dropped her mouth. "Your kidding?"

"Nope." Olivia nodded. "And yeah it was pretty cruel. Look I get that you guys are shifting around Da's but why did we land her? And how do we get rid of her? Please tell me you can make few calls."

Casey sat forward in her chair. "Look I'm not certainly defending her personality or her princess attitude and her in your face and insult your victims and police department approach, but like Sonya Paxton, she had her ways to get results. Whether it was through thorough interrogation and investigation or with the right connections. Her finance prosecution cases last year were 100%. No losses."

"But working with her professionally?" Olivia asked. "Look she'a darn right bitch and I don't want her fucking up our current case. She's had a go at Rollins, Cragen and now Nick. I just don't want her working with SVU if she has an axe to grind."

"I have worked with her once, just after I was booted from SVU, after the Amaro case disaster. She was pretty slick in the court room but she treated me like I was beneath her. She thinks he's superior because of her rich equities and her popularity around certain socialites. I didn't complain, but I didn't make her an enemy. I just did what she wanted me to do. That was it. But yeah when it was over, I thought 'thank god'."

Olivia sat forward and leaned in and quietly asked. "Is there any way you can make a call to Monk, and see if he can bump her back and bring you back to SVU? I really think her being at SVU is going to damage our internal and external rep."

Casey looked at Olivia, clearing her throat and sighed a "hmmm."

"Come on Casey….." Olivia said. "She's got it in for us for some reason. Not sure why."

"Look what makes you think I have that kind of power? Not even Cabot has that kind of power. The only way you can even get them to hear you is to make a formal complaint against her. And Monk hear it if it's about his favourite ADA. There is a reason he stuck her there. Experience and he knows people. He won't take her away. I can't help, sorry." Casey answered, decadently. She could understand Olivia's need to ask her. She may even give it a shot, now that she saw the defeated look in the detectives face.

"Okay I'll talk to Monk, but don't get your hopes up." Casey gave in. She sighed.

Olivia nodded. "Thanks, I owe you."

"Yes that you do. Dinner at Ecucinas tomorrow night." Casey bargained with a smile. "I have some news that may shock you."

"Really? What?" Olivia asked, now curious.

"Ah ah – you'll find out at dinner tomorrow night. Send Nick my love." Casey teased with a wink.

"Sure, will. See you tomorrow at 8 at Ecucinas then." Olivia smiled and then said goodbye and walked out of the office. Curious as to what Casey's shocking news would be.


	11. Chapter 11

**AMARO****'S APARTMENT**

**10.00pm**

Olivia found herself outside Nick's apartment that night. The case had taken a nose dive when she went back to the precinct, and her thoughts had become more distracted and decided to not pull an all-nighter like she had planned. So she thought having dinner out in NY with Fin and Munch would keep her from thinking about Nick. Truth be told – it was all she could think about. She hadn't heard from him since his breakdown and she had become increasingly worried. Didn't return any of his phone calls, or any messages on facebook. She was worried that he was going to do something stupid, she knew it, in her gut and feeling that Nick was on the edge.

_Nick walked to the door of the SVU rest room. Olivia was behind him._

_"Thing is when I die, no one__'s going to mourn for me, liv.__" Nick said dejectedly. __"Coming back to work, I have that. I realize, I have nothing. What__'s the point of continuing on, if my life is empty? We see it day after day with some of these cases. I realize I__'m more of a victim then I thought. Maybe ending it all will save me that burden on everyone else.__"_

_Olivia stood back absolutely stunned by Nick__'s admission. __"Nick__….I think you better not be alone tonight, let me come home with you. You just told me you want to commit suicide.__"_

_Nick shrugged. __"Would it be so bad?__"_

_"YES!__" Olivia screamed. __"I cannot lose you. Your daughter cannot lose you either. You have to live for the both of us. Damn it Amaro!__"_

_Nick, for the first time, could see an anger of desperation of sadness and grief in Olivia__'s eyes. Her eyes were pleading, widening and showing, and darting forward._

_He gently put his hands on her face._

_"Nick, I can__'t let you destroy yourself.__" Olivia quietly said. __"I don__'t want to lose you. I can__'t.__"_

_Nick looked Olivia and said nothing and gently wiped away the tears slowly trembling down her cheekbones._

Olivia knocked on the door and then called his cell phone, pulling herself from that scene. Realizing it was then that she truly admitted the way she felt for him. She was kicking herself for doing it right there and then. But it was out there. She didn't want to play games. She didn't want to be afraid anymore. She wanted to be with Nick, help him, be his confidant, and lover. The girl for him. Circumstances cannot be blamed for what has transpired though.

"Nick , it's Liv. I'm worried about you, let me in." Olivia loudly banged on his apartment door. She was sure that one of his neighbours was going to come out. But Nick opened the door. He stood there shirtless and a sundae in his hand.

She kept her eyes on his chest and couldn't help smile.

Nick noticed that and smiled back. "You want to detect anything else on my body?"

"Do you always answer your door half naked and in your boxers?" Olivia asked.

Nick smiled and motioned for her to get inside the apartment.

"I'll just go get changed." Nick said.

"Actually, don't." Olivia stopped him. "I'm actually liking you like this, it's something underneath your suits I don't get to see, often."

Nick put the sundae in between Olivia and his chest. "Want to try it?"

"Try the sundae?" Olivia asked.

"Well, you have been by my side through Aliesha's death and all, and it's only fair that you try the sundae that I made." Nick said as he scooped out some from the bowl with his finger and put it in front of her face, edging her own to take it from his finger.

Olivia couldn't help smile. This wasn't a side to him that she didn't see. And it was turning her on. It was like a new Nick had taken over the old Nick.

He put his finger against her lips and with one suck, she scooped up the small scoop of Sundae that was hanging off Nick's finger.

She leaned in closer and was tempted to kiss him. "I actually came over to see how you were doing. You never returned my calls."

"I know." Nick said almost in a whisper as he breathed in that perfume she was wearing. What it ever was, and Nick didn't particular care for names of perfumes, it had a ocean breeze and flowery scent and it was embracing him for an invite to kiss her.

"Okay, so why didn't you get back to me?" Olivia asked as she drew in as he Nick leaned in forward.

"Because I was thinking about doing this. And now I have chance too." Nick quietly said, going all serious for a moment. Olivia frowned but then suddenly she found herself in embroiled in the most passionate kiss she ever felt in her life. Her tongue meeting Nick's as they both pressed their mouths together and their arms wrapping around eachother so tightly that they were scared of letting go.

Olivia found Nick's touch to be inviting warming and gentle, not the in vision that she had of her partner when she met him three years ago. His skin felt soft , cuddly like, she could picture in her mind sleeping on his body at the end of this just to relinquish in the desire and sexual attraction that she denied herself from having with Nick for all this time. She allowed him to explore her body before she pulled out and smiled.

Nick pulled back confused. "You're changing your mind again huh? Or the sundae not sitting well?"

"No and the little tad bit of sundae I previewed was exceptional. Tell you what, bring it with you and let's see what we can do with it." Olivia teased as she took off her jacket and threw it on the floor, a big smile spreading across her face. Nick looked confused for a minute and then managed to get the drift of her little tease.

"Oh, right, gotchya now." Nick smiled as he grabbed the rest of the Sundae from the table. He climbed over it in excitement allowing the thoughts of Olivia and his sundae being a sign of some good foreplay in the bedroom.

"I love it when you play dumb." Olivia teased as she led the way to his bedroom.

"It's part of my charm." Nick said as he followed her, seconds later the bedroom door slammed shut.


	12. Chapter 12

Nick's alarm went off at 5.40am in the morning. He was still in a deep sleep. Something he hadn't felt and needed or wanted for a long time and he felt great. The darkness outside the window confirmed that it was cold and that he didn't want to get out of bed. He realized the reason he was cold that he had no sheets or covers on him. It was dark and he could barely see anything in the room, so he turned on the lamp next to the radio clock. The alarm automatically switched itself. Nick rubbed his eyes and turned his read to the right to find Olivia stirring (having heard the alarm) and hogging the bed quilt.

"You got to be kidding me?" Nick laughed. "You stole my quilt and sheets?"

Olivia turned to face Nick, yawning and then opening her eyes, smiling at him. "Morning sunshine. I guess last night when we went wild with the sundae, it made me feel, you know, chilly."

"Chilly?" Nick asked, still smiling at Olivia, and had nearly forgotten bout what had transpired in the bedroom last night. "I love these cute words you use and the way you say them."

Olivia giggled she looked at her watch. "It's not even 6am, why are we up so early?"

"I'm always up early. It's my routine." Nick said as she embraced Olivia in a cuddle.

She put her hand on his chair and twirled his chest hair. "Well it's too early. Anything before 6.30am is an unacceptable hour to get out of bed."

Nick giggled. "Seriously? Unacceptable?"

"Yep." Olivia laughed. "Hey, look a pretty woman like me needs beauty sleep."

"Or beautiful sundae as foreplay." Nick added cheekily.

"You're a cheek." She slapped him hard on his cheek and laughed and then disembarked from his hug. "I guess, I better get going, better get changed at home. Can't rock up to work in the same clothes, you know."

"Ah true." Nick said as he watched her get out of bed and grab her clothes from the floor.

"Hey I found a cherry on my top. Sweet." Olivia said as she picked up her blouse. She popped it into her mouth and for Nick's benefit she ate it seductively making some fake orgasmic noises.

Nick looked at her in disbelief. "Wow, you're pretty wild."

"Hey a cop has to have a wild side, you know." Olivia smiled as she headed toward the bathroom.

Nick smiled disappeared for a moment and he sat up in his bed and cleared his throat. "Is this a once off thing or…..."

Olivia stopped and turned around. "Let's…."

Before she can finish that sentence, her phone and Nick's phone both hummed at the same time.

"That can only mean one thing." Nick muttered.

"Agreed." Olivia also muttered.

Both of them stared at their phones for a second.

"They found Kelli's body in the Hudson." Olivia said. "Munch and Fin are on it."

"We're going to see Melinda I assume?" Nick asked as he walked over to Olivia.

"I think that's a safe bet. You think eating that cherry off my blouse was a good idea?" Asked Olivia, now feeling a bit apprehensive about seeing a body.

"Hey, I usually eat hot dogs for breakfast, who am I to judge what you eat is a good or a bad idea!" Nick smiled.

"See you at Melinda's." Olivia said. Before she could actually leave, Nick grabbed her by the hand gently kissed it.

She smiled.

"I want this to be something more, Liv." Nick warned her with his soothing voice and smile. "Don't fuck with my feelings for you."

Olivia stood there and her smile disappeared from her face, completely taken a back by Nick's brutal honesty. "I know." She replied.

"I know what I want, I just hope you know what you want with me. That's all." Nick said as he gently rubbed her shoulders. "But we'll talk about it later huh?"

"Of course." Olivia smiled as she kissed him on the cheek.

In that moment, Nick was expecting that Olivia kiss him on the mouth, but she didn't.

His smile disappeared from his face and his face dropped when he heard the front door close a few seconds later. He sat back on the bed. It was out there now. The two had consummated, and Nick now knew what he wanted. He loved Olivia, he wanted her, but he had the sneaky suspicion that Olivia was conflicted still. He thought about last night and she obviously didn't come over just for sex, it just happened out of nowhere. He decided it was best not to over think it. So he headed towards the bathroom to get ready for work, whistling to himself.


	13. Chapter 13

**MEDICAL Examiner's Officer**

**9.59AM**

Nick and Olivia had arrived at the SVU Precent dead on 8.25am and after a brief meeting with the Captain about the latest development in the already deranged and weird case, they then proceeded to share his car to get down to the Medical Examiner's office. Olivia and Nick kept quiet on the way to the Medical Examiner's office, but they were both smiling and looking at eachother and the way they were they knew exactly what they were thinking. They had no regrets about last night. It was something that they both let happen and Nick and Olivia seemed to be on the same page length at the moment in their potential in growing this new relationship that seemed to be forming.

In her head, Olivia couldn't believe what a wild man Nick was in the bedroom. She never knew that man could hold his own for quite a long time, and he taught her a few moves with the Sundae. Thinking about it again on the way to Warner's office gave her happy chills. Sort of like a man walking over your grave but only happier and chirpy and singing, that's what Olivia was feeling at the moment.

In Nick's mind though, he was already picturing them going out on dates, laughing and being even more intimate. Last night took him by surprise though by Olivia's easiness and eagerness. He had to wonder though – was she doing this out of pity? Or was she just in the mood for some wild sex? He believed it was none of them and he didn't want to ruin the thing that was happening between them (whatever that maybe at this stage) by blurting out.

When Nick parked the car in one of the bays at the medical examiner's office and turned the ignition to turn the car off, he looked across at Olivia who was already out of the car. He quickly got out and shut the door.

Olivia turned to see him just watching him. _God that thick hair! _She thought to himself. _So warm and inviting, would be even more better if he had combed it properly this morning._

He came up to her as they approached the front door of the office. Still staring at eachother.

Nick couldn't help but feel that this was a game of some kind, so he smiled. He wondered what Olivia was thinking, probably no doubt she was thinking about him, and he was of her. He playfully touched her arm, stroking it up and down. Oliva, not minding Nick's gentle touch to warm her up, smiled back.

However reality brought them back. They had a job to do and they couldn't let any distractions further deteriorate their investigation into an already despicable case.

Nick opened the door for her and motioned for her to go in first. "Ladies first."

Olivia, appreciating the gesture, smiled. "Aww, thank you."

"Anything for you." Nick replied softly with a grin as they walked through the corridor. A few seconds later they were standing outside Melinda Warner's office. They could see that she was still working with something that appeared to resemble a body, perhaps the victims- Kelli Jamieson. From what they could tell the body was not a whole one. It seemed to be a half of a body.

Nick noticed this and looked at Olivia. "Why do I get this feeling that we only have a half a body in there."

"And I think that cherry I had this morning from my shirt is churning my stomach." Olivia said, not thinking about where she was.

Nick smiled again. Then watched as Melinda turned around from the slab inside the room and motioned for them to come in.

"So what ya got?" Nick asked when they were standing in front of the slab, a white sheet covering whatever it was that was under it.

"Half a body." Melinda said quite annoyingly. "Whoever killed Kelli, did a real number on her. From what I can tell the girl was unconscious for an hour or so before she felt the blade from the chainsaw going into stomach. She suffered a lot. But I will show you the rest for your amazement."

Melinda pulled the white sheet off to reveal the victim that was indeed Kelli Jamieson. Her eyes had been removed from her sockets, her arms had been chopped off and where her breasts used to be were two gapping dark holes.

"Wow…" Nick said almost looking away. He never saw anything like this in his career, he knew of strange murders but this one was bizarre if anything it looked to him that she was brutalized by a mob whose speciality was cutting up bodies and putting them in the Hudson.

"Dentals confirmed it was her. I can't even tell if she was raped, until we get the other half of her body. Due to the preservation of the water, I can't really tell when she died, but my guess since ligeration hasn't set in yet, she hasn't been dead for more then 8 hours at least."

Olivia sighed. "Was there anything in her system?"

"Ran a tox screen, nothing out of the ordinary at all." Melinda said. "I should be grateful that she was an easy autopsy."

"But why cut off her breasts, her hands and cut out the eyes? What message is that saying to us? Why take the time to cut those out of the body and then chop the other half off? Is this a message of some kind?" Nick wondered keeping his arm folded across his blue suit jacket. Olivia looked at him, nodding at that question.

"Well according to the Priest that she confided in, she had a sexual relationship with Kamo, our first victim and she was pregnant. I have no doubt that our second victim Deanna, knew about this. I wouldn't be surprised if she had those boys at the firm that Kamo worked at, do something to her. I mean she had a lot invested in Kamo, she had him wacked and did the same to Kelli. That would be one motive." Olivia was guessing. She was only guessing at this point because not a lot of evidence was pointing in one direction, there was evidence pointing in different directions and She had no clue which angle to go for.

"Look at her, she came to New York to start her dream of being a Librarian, instead fell in love with her brother and ended up in a web of incest and lies." Nick sighed looking away, feeling a bit sad that this Australian girl's life was tragically cut short in bizarre circumstances.

"Did she have any family here in New York?" Asked Melinda. "I can't release the body until a parent or a sibling identify her."

"If you are not talking about Kamo and Deanna, then no. We'll have to try and track them down in Australia. There should be contact details in her computer or address book, which are being looked at now." Nick answered.

Melinda covered the half body up with the white sheet again. "So Amaro, how are you doing?"

Nick was caught off guard by the question and how random it was and completely off the subject. Olivia looked at him and then back at Melinda.

They followed Melinda back into her office.

Nick was struggling for an answer and said. "I'm …. Good, considering. I'm doing okay. I miss my daughter a lot. But I have someone who's helping me get on the right track."

"Good, glad to hear it, I really am." Melinda said, she sighed depressingly. "Because I haven't seen you in a while and I wanted to apologies to you."

Nick realized that she was referring to when she accidently broke the news to Aliesha's death to him and hadn't realized that he didn't know yet. His eyes went wide in surprise and then he cleared his throat. He turned to Olivia

"Could you give us a minute?" He asked.

"Sure, I'll wait outside." Olivia nodded. She realized the two of them didn't have a chance to talk since Aliesha's death and she knew how bad Melinda felt about how she dealt with it, so it was only right for them to talk now.

Nick sat down next to Melinda. He sat forward watching how nervous she was. "Look Melinda, I know you feel bad, and you shouldn't."

"I'm a mother, Nick." Melinda said. "If someone ambushed me like that with the news, I would have gone all ape on them. What I did to you and the stress that you felt that night on how I told you, it wasn't right and it wasn't fair on you onto Aleisha asked."

Nick smiled at her nervously, feeling tears whelm up on him but he cleared his throat and rubbed his hand in his thick black hair. "You know, Melinda, you're a gentle person and you wouldn't have done what you did had you known that I known earlier. You're a friend and you were trying to give me support. I can't hate you for that. There's nothing for you to feel guilty about."

Melinda was trying not to cry. "I appreciate that."

Nick looked down. "I also told you that night, after we chatted, that I didn't want to know the autopsy results. I do know how she died, but I didn't want to know anything else if there was anything else you found, because I couldn't deal."

"You just lost your daughter…." Melinda started. "I would have felt the same."

"I still feel that way, you know. Does that make me a bad person?" Nick asked. "Am I betraying her somehow? To not know officially the suffering she suffered when she….."

His voice trailed off.

"No, I don't think so." Melinda smiled.

Before Nick could answer that, Olivia interrupted them at the doorway.

"Sorry, Nick we have to go." Olivia said waving her phone.

Nick and Melinda stood up and embraced in a hug.

"We're good, Melinda. We're good." Nick said giving her a smile and gently wiping the tears off her face. "Let's try and do some justice today and find Kelli and Kamo's killer."


	14. Chapter 14

Nick walked with Olivia down the corridor toward the entrance of the medical examiner office.

"So what's up?" Nick asked referring to the phone call.

"Jason Gabriel is back at the Precint, he says he has some information in relation to Kelli that he says we may find useful." Olivia said rolling her eyes.

Nick looked at her and almost laughed. "Convenient, don't you think? Coming clean about something he knows nothing about, probably, when half of her body is discovered in the Hudson. This case just keeps on getting weirder."

"Well if it can lead to a break…I'm all for it. Even if he's our purp." Olivia said as they climbed into the car.

Nick looked at her. "You know what was really weird the other day about meeting Jason and those men?"

"What?" Olivia asked.

"They were playing with barbie dolls. Grown men. As if it was part of their job description." Nick said. "Look I accept all people, but come on seriously that was so wrong on so many levels."

Olivia giggled. "I have to admit it was certainly bizarre. I think if we can break Jason this time, we may be able to get him to admit that he knows more about Kamo's murder then he's letting on. There had to be at least two people at the crime scene to even pull off a murder like that."

Nick's phone beeped and he read the message out loud. "Forensic say there was three people at the scene. Male shoe print discovered and a lock of hair left beside the cash register machine."

"Three men and a body….Gee I wonder who they can be." Olivia rolled her eyes. "Let's see if Jason will roll on them."

**SVU Precint **

**Interrogation Room**

Nick and Olivia were standing at the corners of the room. Nick was standing on the right side beside the two way mirror and Olivia was standing by the door with her arms crossed the chest. Jason was sitting in his chair, his back straight and his held up high and he was beefing out his chest as if he was proud to show it off. His suit and his choice of business shirt and tie left to be desired though. Orange tie and Pink business shirt didn't mix well.

He tried to keep a calm manner on his face. He was nervous on the inside though, he could feel his heart beating a million mile an idiot. Jason couldn't afford to let loose and slip now. He felt he was going to get away with it. Kelli had to die. So did Kamo. They were a waste of space. He had to make sure that the Police couldn't get him on those two deaths. He made sure to insert himself as the doer and the helper in the investigation, made sure that he gave exactly so much information that they wouldn't catch on that he was masterminding some activities that had involved Kamo and Kelli being bumped off in gruesome ways.

He kept the perfect happy and business like smile and kept his arms outstretched. He didn't even look at the Detectives. He knew they were trying to rattle him, but he was not going to vite. He was gonna show them how big of a man he was down there.

"So Jason, there are just quite a few things we want to talk to you about." Nick said clearing his throats. "We want to know where were you on the night Kamo was murdered? I know you think you told us this, but I don't remember it coming up in conversation, do you?"

"Certainly detective. I was at home on my laptop doing business." He said in a flat and emotionless tone. Not volunteering any more information than necessary. He sat up straight again and pulled his business like facial smile.

Olivia looked at Nick and smiled. "Well gee that puts you in the clear."

This was so easy. Jason thought. He stood up. "I'll be on my way-."

"SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!" Nick screamed throwing one of the chairs half way across the room. He put his hand on Jason's shoulder and forced him to sit down. Nick was now in his face fuming. His face going bright red.

Jason just stood there, looking rather complacent and no charlont. Not moving an inch.

From the other side of the two-way mirror Leanne was standing there fuming with her eyes.

"This is highly unacceptable. No wonder your purp complains bout SVU a lot. You always throw chairs across the room and intimidate suspects?" She sneered at the Captain, giving him a look of disgust.

Cragen gave her an angry menace look. "We do what it takes to get them to confess. But it never gets physical. And if I were you, you owe Detective Amaro an apology when they are done and this whole squad too. You're a bitch, get off your high horse and get with the program and how things are run here or quit. Your choice."

Leanne gave the Captain a filthy look. "I can say what I want, I'm more then just a pretty face."

Cragen store at her blankly, not sure how on earth how he could even reply to such a baseless and moronic statement.

He turned his head back to the interrogation.

"You say that Kamo had enemies, that he made business deals with other small toy makers around New York yeah?" Nick asked as he stood behind Jason, leaning forward, his head nearing touching his shoulder, but he made sure he didn't make contact. He was trying to scare him, rattle him and so far the tactics weren't working. But he thought he saw a flinch just now.

"Yes I can confirm that. If your fuckers are at my apartment right now, you will find records that prove that Kamo had been embezzling money from those poor small struggling business for his own personal wealth, then yeah I have proof."

"Interesting you bring that up, Detective Amaro, I have paper work here that proves that it was Jason that had the misfortune to back end on those poor people." Olivia said standing quite tall and moving to be nearer her partner. She loved it when they were in synch like this. It was like they could read each other's minds. The good cop and the bad cop and the physcotic cop routine would often change with a click and an exchange.

Olivia couldn't help sneak a look at Nick's package before moving to the right side of the Purp. _Better keep the eyes on the bob..I mean job._

Nick could smell the scent of his partner and immediately looked up and to give her a grin, knowing full well she made it obvious that she had checked him out. He smiled at her playfully, and then cleared his throat and turned back tot eh purp, Olivia had to clear her throat so she could get back on with the interrogation.

"We spoke with about 8 of your clients, they said you were the one that proposed to merge your business with their toy making businesses, so you could provide them with a double profit. Now I may not be business smart like, but how would you have been able to do that when you don't even a major business of your own? These people are still waiting for the $800,000 you owe them all individually. Want to explain?" Nick said trying to get his mind back on the job, but he felt it move and had to quickly stand up and walk to the window to calm himself down, and stop thinking of Olivia in a way that wouldn't be considered appropriate in a work setting.

"They are lying, they know it was Kamo. Kamo put me up to it. Too bad he's dead. He would have made a great bulls hitter." Jason said as he tried to remain calm. He had forgotten to tie up the loose ends with the paper work, he forgot that there was copies of them in the law officers and back at the office with the secretary.

"Funny you mentioned Kamo, care to explain why your finger prints were found on his body?" Olivia asked, this time meaning business. She pulled up a chair across from him and sat down. "You say that you didn't see Kamo on the night he died, but we have security footage of you making out with Kamo in the hallways of your office at least three hours before he died. Then we saw you at the toy shop with him before the camera's mysteriously blacked out. So, want to explain?"

"This routine is getting old." Leanne sighed. "Bored now, can I go have a coffee?"

"Shut it!" Cragen snapped.

Back in the interrogation Olivia and Nick had heard Cragen shout and had turned to look at the window and then turned back at their suspect.

"I did meet Kamo and we did make out." Jason said. "You must understand because our relationship was secret and that no one must know about the love and care that we have for our beloved bodies and our Barbie dolls. But I don't believe I killed him. I doubt you believe that too because you are desperate Hispanic and muslim detectives trying to put me away because I have a worthy income."

Nick and Olivia just frowned.

"So you're playing the racism card? You expect us to get angry?" Nick asked sitting back on his chair. "I know what you are doing, your trying to bate us into a reaction, want us to get mad and loose prospective and rule you out. Thing is Jason, we know you left DNA prints on Kamo's body and you know what we also found? The chain saw you used to hack off his manly bits….your fingerprints are on there. You can try to deny it to yourself that you are not his killer, but the evidence is mounting against you. So you can play your game if you want, but in the end you are going to choke on your own vomit."

_Choke on your own vomit?_ Olivia thought trying to supress a laugh but a smile spreading across her face. She had to move her hand to cover the smile. _That's a new one!_

Jason burst into tears. "He wasn't suppose to end up dead! It was an accident, I swear on the lord jesus Christ, Herbert!"

Nick raised an eye brow. _What the hell? Sex, toys, gay relationships and an Australian Librarian, how on earth did we land this complicated case?_ He eyed Olivia, who was looking at him too, questioning and thinking the exactly the same thing.

Jason continued to cry, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't be a normal person, a real man. Deep down he was just a scared little boy inside a suit that really loved Barbie dolls.

"Jason, there were three people that night at the toy shop. You need to tell us if your other co-workers were involved." Olivia said.

"And you need to tell us why you butchered your friend, or in your case, your boyfriend, the way you did. Why?" Nick also chimed in, this time being forceful.

Jason wiped the tears from his face. He looked up to reveal how red and remorseful he was looking." It was Michael Cesary and Mitch Piggledy. The plan was to talk to Kamo, he was planning on selling the business to that stupid Australian girlfriend sister of his! He was thinking of his penis and what he was going to get out of her when he sold it to her. We couldn't let that happen. She knew nothing about the company that we were building up, nor should she"

"But you said you were having a relationship with him?" Nick quizzed.

Jason sighed. "Kamo was a special person who was conflicted by all these emotions and feelings for both me and woman. He came to me and said that he needed to explore relationship with men and woman."

Olivia sighed. "In a nut shell he was bisexual."

"Oh, if you want to put it like that Mrs Political Correct." Jason rolled his eyes.

"So how much did Kelli know of the venture you guys had going?" Nick asked.

Jason sighed. "She had all the financial information, he gave her complete control of which toys and lesbians organisations we should be aligning ourselves with. She was picking dud organisations though and we were losing millions. Turns out she was stealing money from the accounts to fund her fucking library. She was attending board meetings that Kamo was scheduling without our prior knowledge, she had whole plan to re-develop our business to meet the demands of these so called library and information services and cut out our toy and lesbian alliances client base. We went that night just to talk Kamo out of it, but Michael had the idea to bring the chainsaw to scare him a little and shave off his head."

Nick rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry but really a chain saw to shave off his hair? You guys a grade a-morons."

Olivia shook her head. "I can't even begin to think, why you guys thought that was smart. I've been a cop for a long time, but I have never heard anything this dumb, ever."

"Kamo was getting really upset and angry, and well we were trying to calm him down, he was going to go to the board in the morning and have the shareholders vote us out of the company and have Kelli put in as the Main CEO, and CFO. Can you believe that? He was going to step down so she could take over the company? It took us years to build that company, and to see him destroy it so his girlfriend-sister could destroy it with her poision, just didn't sit well with us. Before I knew it Michael was using the chain saw cutting into Kamo's lower half of his body like an animal on steroids. Mitch was recording it on the phone."

"And you didn't bother to defend your boyfriend?" Olivia asked. "You just stood there and let your co-worker slash Kamo with a chain saw."

"Kamo should have seen that coming. He betrayed us, and our relationship. After we were done with him we went to play with Kelli. We had to get rid of her as well. Same thing, but we stabbed her wildly and it was like so so fun!" Jason admitted, with some glee in his voice and a smile to go with it. "I heard you found her top half? Still looking for the rest?"

Olivia and Nick looked at eachother, staring at this man, who had now the most vivid and murderous and evil look on his face now. He was no longer frightened or scared or 'crying' to try to manipulate the interrogation. He was now showing his true colour.

"You betray me both professionally and personally, there will be consequences for that action. Kamo knew that. It was written in the contract. He and Kelli had to die to preserve the one true word that sums up our business motto." Jason said giving the detectives a dark look.

"Which is?" Olivia asked.

"'Loyalty.'" Jason whispered and then began laughing evilly.

The process of arresting Jason, Michael and Mitch was not painful, in fact it rather went soothingly. They all had confessed to the brutal murder of Kamo and Kelli for protection of the business. Not one of them showed remorse for what they did to Kamo and Kelli. They believed that they were going to destroy the company, and to show brutal force, they decided that it was best to show the consequences for betraying the management and the values of the business.

Nick and Olivia were at their desks later that evening writing up the case to file. Olivia kept looking up to see Nick just staring blankly at his screen. She could see that he had barely written anything at all. He looked depressed again. She was so worried about him. Olivia was hoping she wasn't having a negative effect on him. She really loved him, and she really wanted to help him get through this. She could imagine herself having his babies, but she had to put that pause on that. The guy was dealing with the loss of his daughter and she didn't want to scare him off. When she turned back to her screen, she felt something unsettle in the pit of her stomach. She didn't like this feeling. It was as if she had something and it was doing her insides as if it was trying to ensure that the body could handle whatever she ate. She swallowed but the feeling got worse.

_Oh god. I feel sick/_ she thought. _Maybe it was the vile reality of this case we just investigated._

She couldn't stand the smell of her own perfume as well. However she felt dizzy a bit. Olivia got up from her desk and made a move for the coffee machine. The thought of coffee even made her feel slightly sicker. By the time she got to the coffee pot, she had her hand to her mouth. She was going to vomit, she could feel the lumpiness in her throat. So she quickly sprinted to the restrooms. Nick had looked up, drawing him out of whatever was in his mind and he called after her.

"Liv, you okay!?" Nick called. No response. He got off from the chair and hurried down the corridor.

He knocked on the ladies bathroom door a moment later, concerned for his partner. "Liv, talk to me."

He could hear her throwing up, he desperately wanted to go in there. He waited by the door and a few moments later, Olivia came out, looking worse for wear.

"Liv, wow you look peachy." Nick observed, putting a hand to her forehead. "You got a temperature."

"It must have been something I ate." Olivia said, brushing away any suggestion that she may have the cold or flu. "I never get the flue."

"I used to say that, until I got it last winter. Was in bed for 3 days." Nick replied. "Think you should go home."

Olivia smiled. "You're sweet to be worried. But I'll be okay. I guess the weirdness of this case just got to me."

Nick watched Olivia as she poured herself a cup of coffee at the coffee station and then walk back to her desk to finish the rest of the case report. She glanced over to see Nick sitting on his desk and watching her with a gentle smile.

"Liv, I guarantee you, by the time you get home you're gonna get hot flashes, chills and you're going to need someone to take care of you." Nick smiled suggestively. "I'm free."

"Oh is that your way of inviting yourself to my place to 'take care' of me?" Asked Olivia, trying to supress a laugh. She loved the way that Nick was subtle in his moves on her. Creating a problem and then reaching for a solution, which involved a physical interaction with her at a private location (her house, being the latter). She felt her face go red again, this time she knew she was blushing because she could feel the intense stare from Nick, even without having to look at him.

"Look, Liv. Let me just take care of you." Nick offered. He pulled up a chair next to hers and grabbed her hand sand down and rubbed it and then putting it close to his lips to gently kiss it.

At that moment when he looked into her eyes, she could see a sparkle awaken in her that Olivia had denied herself from ever happening. She wanted to grab Nick by his shoulders and kiss him passionately right there and then again. Last night was amazing and when she had woken up this morning, she felt right. She felt safe and at home. She knew Nick was the one but she was darn worried that she would screw it up.

Olivia touched Nick's black pants, rubbing his knee. Nick smiled, his heart pumping a little faster as he felt her warm and caring safe touch rub him on the knees. He liked that warm feeling he was getting, and he was beginning to get aroused.

"Hey, you guys gonna go home?" A voice called.

Both Olivia and Nick almost jumped, that special moment of connection and attraction, had been interrupted by Amanda's voice. She was standing at her desk in her long brown coat and she was untying her hair from her pony tail.

"Uh…."

"Fin, Munch and I are going to watch the game at the bar. Want to come?" Asked Amanda, she took note of both Nick's and Olivia's expressions on their faces. She clearly had interrupted something, as they both were trying to pretend they weren't sharing another moment. Nick's face had gone right red from blushing, so he wheeled himself back to his desk.

"Bit hot in here." Nick said trying to fan himself to cool himself down.

Olivia looked away, trying to unsuccessfully supress a laugh.

"Okay, so um I did interrupt something? I've never seen your face go that red before. In fact I have never seen you blush before Nick." Amanda said with a wink. "And it aint hot in here. Maybe too much pheromones exchanging desks, maybe it's that."

Nick rolled his eyes. "You believe want you to believe, Rollins. And thanks for the offer. I'm a bit tried, I might go home early and clean the dishes."

Amanda smiled. "That is just lame! But whatever turns you on. See you guys Monday!"

She then walked out, and immediately pulled out her iPhone to call Munch.

Olivia sat back on her chair and folded her arms and laughed. "Oh, Nick, really?"

"What?" Nick protested. "Scuse me, you had your hand going up my knee, and if Amanda hadn't come in, you would have gone higher."

"Glad you are so sure of yourself, but really 'going home to clean the dishes' that's just so lame!" Olivia laughed, teasing Nick a bit. "Couldn't have thought of something more clever or original? She knows something up and she'll tell Munch and Fin, for sure."

"Amanda's a great detective, but she aint a great detective when it comes to my love life." Nick admitted. "So what time you having dinner with Casey tonight?"

"About 8, but I am tempted to cancel. I guess you are right, I do have a temperature." Olivia said, this time her face looked like she was turning into a ghost.

"Wow, you're looking like a ghost." Nick said. He got up from his desk and walked over to the rack and grabbed Olivia's coat and threw it at her. It actually landed on her head.

Nick laughed, it had not meant to land on her hand, but it was a great shot. Covered her up pretty nicely. Olivia stood up and took the coat off her head.

Olivia shook her head. "And you say you have perfect aim. You were so way off."

"I think last night proved I had good aim." Nick said innocently, yet again he didn't click on what Olivia was saying.

She shook her head and smiled. "Still pretending to be dumb for my benefit. Seriously, Nick, do you mind if I go home? I am not feeling well."

"Yeah, go." Nick said seriously. "But my offer still stands. I am happy to come over and look after you."

"Aw. It's very sweet. But I just need to go to sleep and just chill out." Olivia smiled as she leaned in and kissed Nick on the lips and then pulled back.

"Night." He smiled.

"Night." Olivia replied back.

Something was brewing between them and they both knew it. Nick knew it was a good thing and Olivia was sure to know that it was a good thing as well.


	15. Chapter 15

The rain settled in pretty early once Olivia climbed into bed. Whatever she had was getting worse. It was half past six in the evening and whatever ill feeling she had earlier had now developed into a full blown cold. Runny nose, hot and cold flushes, congested chest and often having coughing fits every five minutes. She was hating the rain at the moment, she hated anything cold about New York. The one thing she hated the most was the snow and the cold and at the moment the cold was putting her in a bad mood. But for fourteen years she made do with it, but she still didn't have to like it though. She put the covers right up to her chin and listened the rain as it beated hard against her apartment bedroom window and on the roof. She loved being on the top floor, she could see most of New York's tallest buildings, but in this case, the clouds and rain had hidden that awesome view she admired.

Her mind slowly drifted off about Nick again. The relationship was forever changed and she was now letting something grow with him. The banter earlier was not just a friendly, but it was a run around flirtation that she enjoyed and she wanted. She hoped Nick would still come and offer her to cook something, she'd love to be taken cared of for once.

She looked down at her iPhone which was beside her on the bed, unlocked it by putting in her pass code, which was just a few numbers and it took her to the home screen. She touched the message button and clicked on Nick's message and looked at his latest text message.

Her phone hadn't alerted her to the new message. Olivia shook her head and read Nick's message.

_Rainbow sky, the blue sky falling, from grace the magic of you. I love you. You feel it to. Forget everything else, let's just be together. Yeah don't mind me liv, writing lyrics to cure my boredom._ J.

Olivia smiled and then coughed, and then sneezed. She was pleasantly surprised that Nick wrote lyrics. It was something that she never knew he did. She decided to reply back and asked _"I never knew you wrote lyrics. Why didn't you tell me?"_

Olivia put the phone down and coughed some more. She was expecting him to reply but she was so aching that she decided to rest her eyes for a moment.

Olivia woke up three hours later to more coughing. She immediately felt her head and it was drenched with sweat. The bed spread was all over the bead and most of it tangled in her legs and the top half was actually covering her right up until her neck. She kicked it off eventually and sat up. She grabbed a glass of water she had near the bed and drank it. Looking at the time, 9:34pm, she heard something in the living room. She sat up straight, alert, this time, ignoring the achiness that was screaming for her to lie back down and the hot and cold chills. Olivia slowly stood up. Once she felt that she was balanced enough and her head wasn't spinning she moved closer to the baseball bat and gun which resided near her Apple Mac Book Pro on the granite desk.

A loud bang this time made her jump. It sounded like it was the pots and pans, clanking together. Olivia grabbed her baseball bat instead of her gun. She heard a mumble and a grunt and then a glass breaking.

_My god, someone is robbing me of glasses, pots and pans?_ Olivia thought. _Get a grip Olivia, you're suffering from the flu. Get a grip. They're probably looking for something specific like cocaine…..Like I have any._

She opened the door and yelled out "FREEZE" on top of her lungs, running up to the robber who had her back toward, she immediately pushed him to the ground and she kept on screaming. "You're under arrest you SON OF A BITCH! You broke into the wrong apartment!"

"Liv, wait it's me!" The muffle voice cried out, surprised by the brute force she was giving, as she put her knee into his back while holding both of his arms together.

Olivia frowned and immediately recognised the voice. "Nick…."

She immediately got off him and he turned onto his back and raised his hands.

Olivia store at him. "You scared the shit out of me. What the hell?"

Nick looked at her, quite shocked at what had just transpired. He knew she'd protect herself somehow, but this was a wild side to her he never saw. He was wearing a grey hooded and dark blue Italian Armani jeans. Olivia reached out her hand still eyeing him and he took it and she helped him up. Once he was standing he smiled at her and raised his eye brow as if nothing happened.

"I'm here to cook you some soup." Nick smiled.

"I said, I didn't want you too." Olivia smiled back, but secretly deep down her heart was fluttering at the thought of Nick taking care of her. She wanted it to happen, and consistently denied herself of it but here it was. Living and breathing in her room ready to cook her something to take her flue away.

"I always do the opposite of what you say." Nick admitted with a cheeky smile as he rubbed his elbow.

"That's true. Did I hurt you?" She asked, watching him rub the elbow quickly.

"Nah, but damn, you're good with that. I see why many suspects fear you outside of interrogation." Nick flirted as he brushed her hair back behind her shoulders. "Look, let me make you some chicken soup. Even though I would like to feed you myself, I'll be a good cook and bring it to you."

Olivia smiled and shook her head. "Yeah, I think I can barely just feed myself, Amaro."

Nick smiled. "I never said you couldn't, laughing out loud."

Olivia looked at Nick, stunned at the last words he used. She smiled and laughed. "You just did not say 'Laughing out loud' out loud?"

Nick laughed as he got the chicken soup out of the plastic bag. "I sure did, Liv. LOL."

Olivia began coughing again while laughing. "My god, Nick, you lol'd me too. What has Munch been teaching you on facebook?"

"Nothing. To be honest, I haven't signed in months. I wonder if it's still there." Nick thoughtfully said.

Olivia let her smile drop and coughed again. "Seriously Nick, you don't have to do this for me."

"I want to, Liv." Nick smiled. "Go rest. Make sure you get three blankets and take some happy pills, might help you sleep."

"Happy pills?" Olivia asked. Intrigued by Nick's name for sleeping tablets.

"That's what my mum used to call em when I was sick." Nick stated as he was preparing the food on the granite kitchen bench.

Olivia smiled and went back into her room, she came out with her quilt and pillows. "I've decided I better keep an eye on you, while you cook."

"Not going to happen when you fall asleep." Nick replied as continued to prepare the food.

Olivia climbed onto the couch and snuggled up with the blanket up to her next. Seconds later she was asleep.

In that moment, Nick grabbed his iPhone from his jeans pocket and quickly snuck up to the coffee table. He looked at Olivia as she finally rested. She had dozed off as soon as her head had hit the pillow. He turned the phone on silent and positioned the camera so he could get the perfect photo of his beloved partner (and angel) in the most radiant light as she slept beautifully. He didn't mind that half her face was red, no matter if she was sick with the flu or had a pink face painted on, she was still beautiful to him. He position the iPhone so he could get it down to eye level. Bending down he snapped the photo and the photo appeared on the iPhone screen. It looked perfect. The radiant photo of Olivia sleeping was now on his phone. Her gentle face was now an everlasting image on his phone. Nick set it as his lock screen as he walked back to the kitchen. He took out his ear buds and put it in his ear and resumed playing some music on his phone. On the screen of the phone the song title and artist popped up. He pressed the play button on the screen and the music resumed where it left off.

He hummed to the music while preparing the chicken soup. Figuring and hoping that maybe Olivia would hear him. He never doubted the fact that he had a great singing voice, his music teacher, his parish teacher and his mum (when she was alive) all told him that he should use his gift and pursue a career in music whether it was doing it at weekly mass or making it an official career. Nick didn't feel it was his calling, he wanted to become a cop. Protect the innocent, and deal with the bad guys. He believed he could help people that way. He wouldn't have had it any other way. He loved his career, despite all that happened with him.

Nick had to wonder if had he taken a different direction and followed his voice to a musical career, he would still have met his physcotic ex-wife and still have his daughter. Would things have been so differently? Would the marriage have worked? Would his daughter would be still alive? Nick wondered constantly but there was one thing in that wonder that he never could picture without was Olivia. Olivia was saving himself from drowning, and it's not that he fell in love with. It was her spirit, her generosity and her acceptance of him after getting to know him when they were first partnered. He loved the way she let him in and used him as a confidant on most of the heinous cases, he loved the fact that she wanted to hear his opinions, but he was so grateful for her support with everything that happened with his daughter and her murder and the physcotic ex-wife that was responsible. She was everything and he loved her for being herself. It was his chance to prove to her that this relationship was worth pursuing. It would give them a chance to grow and learn more about eachother, to explore the sexual tension that was now surrounding them. Nick wanted that to happen, and he could sense that Olivia was wanting it to happen as well. Who knew what tonight would bring, but all he knew that Olivia (right at this very moment) was sick and he wanted to take care of her. Nick smirked as he chopped the chicken on the cutting board, thinking of how Olivia was surprised and attacked him thinking he was an intruder. He thought it was a pretty good start to what could turn out to be an exciting and challenging night for both of them.

Nick had finished cooking the soup an hour later. He had set Olivia's chicken soup and tray on the coffee table. He smiled as he watched her stir again and cough. Her cough sounded dry and he put his hand on her forehead and noticed she seemed much warmer then before. Beside him he had his "Flu Emergency Kit", flu tablets, and temperature and come cold damp cloths.

"What time is it?" Olivia asked groggily slowly opening her eyes and stretching her arms.

Nick knelt down beside her and gently pushed her hair back away from her eyes, he wanted to see them. "Just after 11. You hungry?"

"Actually, I am." Olivia said, her voice had taken a beating with the flue, she sounded sick now. She coughed again as she pulled herself up with Nick guiding her. "I can smell chicken soup."

"Yeah I cooked it. Amaro Chef special. Limited for 1 customer only." Nick replied with a smile, booting his own confidence and his cooking to cheer his sick partner up.

Olivia barely managed a smile. "Smells heavenly."

"I know, I do. Thanks!" Nick laughed.

Olivia had to laugh at that one. She put the blanket up to her chin and sat forward smelt the chicken soup. She was indeed right it was heavenly! Very warm and the chicken smell was just perfect for her.

"Did you want me to feed you?" Nick asked, half serious, half joking.

"I think I can feed myself, for now." Olivia smiled suggestively as she put the spoon into the chicken soup and dashed it around for Nick's amusement. "You want to watch?"

"As thrilling as watching you, sick as a dog, watching soup enlightens my visual enhancement, I think I better clean your sink. Otherwise it will be a mess for days. I gather you never really clean your apartment…much." Nick said with a wink and a hint of teasing. He'd been on previous occasions to Olivia's apartment, and in those previous occasions he had seen the apartment in a mess. Clothes on the floor, dirty dishes on the table and coffee table. Dirty bench. He figured she never really had the time to clean much because of the hours she put in at Special Victims. But today, seeing it cleaned really it shocked him. He assumed she made the time the time to clean it, when she did, was something he couldn't imagine to figure out.

As she ate the soup, Nick returned to the kitchen to clean up the cooking mess.

He sneezed and looked in the kitchen cabinets for any dishwashing liquid, but there was none available.

"Liv, when you clean dishes what do you use?" Nick asked, his polite and sarcastic way of asking where the hell she kept the detergents.

"Just water and a tee-towel." Olivia replied. "Nick, this soup is nice, don't worry about the dishes, come and sit down, you've done enough. Or at least make yourself a cup of bad coffee. I think I got expired coffee beans somewhere…."

Nick shook his head and smiled. "You're offering me expired coffee beans? Do coffee beans expire?"

"How the hell should I know, I barely buy coffee. Well in four years, to be exact." Olivia called out to him. "And yeah I don't have detergent either."

Nick shook his head and sighed and grabbed his keys. "I'm going to go to the store and get some. You can't not have dishwashing liquid. It's every house requirement for the house wife, or house husband."


	16. Chapter 16

With that he grabbed his car keys and the apartment door keys from the granite kitchen bench and headed out.

Olivia smiled to herself as soon as the door closed behind him. She was quite impressed and intrigued by her partner's soft touch and caring of her while she was sick.

Nick walked into the corner 24/7 delicatessen located across the street from Olivia's apartment building. It was a nice stroll. A short stroll at that. But the neighbourhood was fairly quiet at this time of night. A few cars were driving by and Nick noticed the odd occasion of some suspicious teenagers standing on thes treat corner eyeing him as he was walking across the road. He zipped up his hoody and put his hands in his pocket. He felt his Iphone vibrate. He pulled it out of his pocket and stared at his screen and the message that had popped up in it's green box. It was from Olivia. _"Don't dawdle. May need to clean up the sink, you didn't do a good enough job by my standards,"_

Nick smiled to himself, he loved the way she was flirting with him. And she knew she was. It was cute that she was still continuing their running gag with the dishwashing liquid. He was typing back a reply when he felt someone from behind push him. He dropped his phone and immediately turned to pick it up.

But someone kicked it away and when Nick looked to see who it was, the man's fist met with his face, hard making him loose his balance and falling to the ground banging his head on the pavement hard. He wanted to scream out in pain, but the pain shot up so quickly he felt dizzy. He couldn't even scream out, as a hand covered his mouth as the assailant started punching him in the face. The hits were hard, and the pain got even worse. He barely could keep his eyes open when he saw blood on the ground beside him. He tried to move to his right side but the assailant kicked him in the stomach and it was then as he was gasping and struggling for breath that he saw a few more people in dark hoodies and carrying baseball bats sprint for him. He could hear them yelling out obscenities. And what was even worse, Nick realized that these attackers were only fourteen and fifteen year olds. He could tell because their voices were still under developed and even though they were at least his height and seemed to be grown men in the late stage of adolescence, they were not.

"Give us your phone, and your wallet!" One of them shouted in a high pitched voice standing so close to his face ready to foot cap him in the face with his working steel boots if Nick didn't do what he said or tried to worm his way out of the situation.

"Look, I'm a cop…. You may want to…" Nick started to say groggily.

"Wrong answer!" The one with the brown hoody covering his face and wearing dark sunglasses said and using his footing to kick Nick in the face. Nick screamed in pain as the pain hit him so hard that he felt and heard something broke. It was his nose. The crack was so loud, Nick thought it was a glass breaking. But the pain was ten time worse.

"Where's your wallet?" The kid demanded again. "I'm not mucking around, just give us your damn wallet and phone!"

"No!" Nick barely screamed out, being defiant. He was not going to let these fuckers win. Not a chance in hell. Although he was in pain, bloody and bruised he had to get himself up. He wanted to get back to Olivia, he was more worried about her. The teen group were moving in on Nick. He didn't realize it but they had cornered him into an alley way. He wasn't sure how or when, but it was a dangerous situation. Anything could happen in here. For the first time since Aliesha's death, he felt fear, He felt alone again and it was the first time that he felt he couldn't control his own mortality and was thinking about his daughter and how she felt as her life drained away.

The teenagers seemed to let Nick get up. He took his time and as he did, he herd one of the young teenagers scream out for him to give him his wallet, and this time out of the corner of his eye Nick saw the teenager, who looked barely fifteen years pull out a hunting knife and run toward him.

Nick called out to him to stop running toward him. HE wished he had his gun with him or some other weapon to defend himself. He was thrown into the wall of the alley and he felt something sharp being jammed into his abdomen. There was no pain for a brief moment, but a complete surprised look on his face. Then he felt the pain. His eyes went wide with fear and he began to shiver all of a sudden and put his hand on his abdomen. He looked down to see blood forming on his hoody.

_Oh shit!_ Nick thought to himself._ I've been stabbed. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit._

He was trying not to panic but the immediate reaction of panicking and gasping for air began to overtake his impure throat to remain calm and he fell to the ground on his knees, struggling to breathe.

"Fuck dude, you stabbed him! That wasn't the plan. Rob the guy and get the cash and then get the booze! He's gonna die…. Let's get out of him." One of them with freckles on his face said, Nick had looked up with a begging look on his face for them to help him and noticed the freckled boy, who seemed to have a half shaven moustache. Nick was watching the teenager pull out his phone but one of them snatched out of it his hand and stomped on it on the ground. The small touch screen phone was now smashed on pieces.

Nick fell to the ground, struggling to breathe, tears stroking down his cheeks as he began to realize that he could be dying and that no one was going to fear. His last thoughts were of Olivia, he could hear his attackers running off. Nick laid on his back his hand on his abdomen, feeling the blood seep through into the hoody, it wasn't going to stop. They had punctured something internally.

With his left arm, he grabbed his IPhone from his hoody pocket and dialled the emergency number.

"I need help. I've been attacked…." Nick said into the receiver, barely keeping conscious. "Can't keep conscious. In alley somewhere. Please…"

At this point, Nick began to feel his throat close up and could feel the blood swarming in his throat, seconds later he was coughing up blood and desperately clinging on to dear life until someone would find him. He tried to roll onto his side, but he was too weak. He was trapped. The alley was far from the sidewalk, but he still could hear people and cars going by, he slowly turned his head, bloody and bruised he tried to raise his head and out stretch his arm. He was baring through the horrible pain that was shooting up from him as a result of his injuries. He saw people hanging around the corner at the end of the alley way on the footpath, he outstretched his hand out of desperation, and tried to scream out for help, but all he did was gurgle and choke on the blood that was coming out of his mouth at a faster rate. He began to get even weaker, and his breathing slowly came to a standstill. The final thing he saw was headlights heading into his direction. The light seemed to be coming from the car but as he fell into unconscious and possibly death, the light got brighter and brighter and the last thing he heard was footsteps coming toward him.

Back at Olivia's apartment, she was sitting up and worrying about Nick, and why it was taking so long to get the dishwashing liquid. He had left the apartment an hour or so ago and she couldn't fathom the thought that the deli on the corner would be packed with shoppers at this time of night. It was half past eleven on her watch and she grabbed her phone and launched Nick's mobile number and dialled it. She sighed annoyingly and began pacing back and forward. After a couple of minutes of ringing out, she cancelled the call. She headed toward the window and looked outside. There was something apparently happening as there was police and ambulance officers arriving toward the direction that Nick was headed in. Something was wrong. Very wrong. She noticed a large crowd of people hanging around. Although she was sick and worried about Nick, she decided to go down and check out. She never known for anything to happen around in her area. She quickly put on a pear of jeans and a black NYPD hoodie and an overcoat and rushed out of the apartment. She would text message Nick on the way explain what was going on, little did she know, she was about to find out that Nick was the one being wheeled into the ambulance hanging on to dear life just by a thread.

By the time she got down onto the street, she noticed Casey's car and she was standing around Captain Cragen and Munch, it wasn't too hard to spot them from the crowd. No Fin or Rollins. Something huge had happened. She started calling out to them from the sidelines and showing her badge to the Police officers who were standing by the do not cross crime scene sign to disperse any of the small gathering onlookers from getting closer. Once she flashed her badge they let her through. She didn't care that she had to push people out of the way, something was definitely up and the pit of her stomach was telling her it was bad.

"Captain!" Olivia called hurrying up toward him, Casey and Munch. They had serious looks and concerns on their faces.

"Liv, what are you doing here, you're sick." Casey stated, looking at the terrible state she was in. She had to tone down her worry. It was obvious that Olivia did not know what was going on and that Nick was the one that had been stabbed by a gang of teenagers. Olivia looked at the sad expression and worry on Casey's face and then darted her eyes to the scene in front of her, she saw crime scene forensics going over areas in the alleyway near the deli and a police officer interviewing a few people who heard what had gone down. She watched as the ambulance sped away.

"What's going on!? What happened?" Olivia demanded to know.

"Liv, what was Nick doing here tonight?" Cragen asked. Not sure why he asked her the way he did, but he needed to hear it from her own mouth. Nick lived in queens and for him to be in New York in the middle of Manhattan at this time of night was strange for Cragen to think, but he was inclined that he was with Olivia.

"Nick?" Olivia asked, wondering why her Captain was asking her personal questions that had nothing to do with him or anyone for that matter, but she could see the nervousness in his face, so she didn't bother to be snark about it. "He popped around made me soup. Kept me company for a while, then he went to the Deli here to get dish washing liquid. Why? Where is he? What's going on?"

"Liv…"Munch started to say. His face said it all really. He put his hand on her shoulder to prepare her for what he was about to say. "About half an hour ago Nick was attacked by gang of teenagers, Liv."

Olivia looked stunned and horrified. "What? …W…? Is he ok?"

"He's in bad shape, Liv." Casey said putting a hand on her friend's shoulder. Casey could tell that Olivia was about to cry, she sensed that tonight that Nick and Olivia were getting closer and more intimate , which made it even more harder for her to break the news to him. "Liv, when they found him ,he was in bad shape. They did a number on him. They're taking him to surgery at St Helens Hospital."

Olivia stood still for a moment, trying to process what she had heard. Her partner was attacked? Random mugging? It seemed from her point of view it was hard to believe. She thought at that instant this was a deliberate joke, but then she looked at the scene in front of her at the worried looks on the faces of her colleagues. It was not a joke.

"I NEE DTO GET TO THE HOSPITAL NOW!" Olivia screamed. She didn't mean to scream, but she had to get there. She had to be with Nick. She practically started running for a car. Any car. Casey decided to go with her while the others stayed behind to get a clear set on what earth happened.

Casey was calling out to Olivia, who seemed to be dazed and confused at the moment. Thoughts of loosing Nick was entering her mind and she found herself sobbing at the though.

"Liv, it's gonna be okay." Casey reassured her putting her hand on her distressed friend's shoulder.

"I can't lose him." Olivia said trying not to cry but feeling the tears form in her eyes. She looked at Casey. "I love him. I can't lose him."

"You can tell him that at the hospital when he's conscious. Come on, I'll take you." Casey assured her, leading her to the Ford Sedan which was parked at the corner.

Waiting at the hospital half an hour later, seemed to be like an eternity for Olivia. She was pacing up and down the hospital corridor, refusing to the budge away from the emergency operating theatre, much to Casey, Cragen and Munch trying to get her to have a coffee and calm herself. She still looked like a mess, her hair uncombed and her nose red. She felt warm again and immediately stopped pacing to take a deep breath.

Munch walked up to her and looked at her. "You need to sit, Liv. You can't do anything for hungry chip, while he's in there by standing. You're sick yourself."

Olivia looked at him and smiled, appreciating the kind words he had just offered her. She saw that he had a coffee cup in his hands, but it wasn't coffee. Green tea, from what Olivia could smell.

"Drink this, and sit down." Munch ordered.

"Yes, dad." Olivia said, following him back to the waiting room. She put the tea down on the table stand next to the end seat and sat down. She needed to sit down, her body, was craving from it. The stress from the flue and the added stress of Nick being attacked, was making her drowsy and weak. As soon as she sat down her headache came back and as did her chills.

"So why was Amaro at your apartment?" Munch asked, trying to make conversation. He sort of guessed that there was something going on between the two, and he didn't want to come out right and say what Amanda had seen back at the Precint earlier tonight. It would make sure his colleague would retreat into the comfort world of lying and not telling anyone. He thought it was about time that Olivia met someone that got her. Loved her. Appreciated her in ways that she couldn't appreciate herself. He knew that Nick was that guy for her. The two of them had been an inseparable pair over the last year or so, and even when Aliesha's murder happened, Munch saw that it brought them even more closer. It didn't surprise him at the latest that he was looking after while she was sick, or wanted to do his shopping for her, Nick was that kind of guy.

Olivia looked at Munch. She loved the way he asked something in which he already knew the answer too. It frustrated her sometimes, but it sometimes gave her some comic relief.

"Munch, you already know the answer to that." Olivia slightly smiled.

"I know, but I would like to hear them from your mouth. You deserve to have happiness Olivia. If Nick truly makes you happy, then I say go for it Misty." Munch patted her head as if she was some kind of pet of his.

"Misty?" Olivia asked, confused by the nickname he just called her.

"You kind of look like a misty." Munch shrugged.

"Thanks, I think." Olivia said frowning. As she did she took a sip of her tea.

Olivia sighed for a moment. "I hate waiting. What's taking so long? I hate waiting…"

"He's gonna pull through. He's a tough nut." Munch reassured her. He believed it, he knew his colleague would pull through, but an increasingness of doubtness came through to him when he pictured the amount of blood lost back at the crime scene. He couldn't imagine how much pain he had been in Nick when he was stabbed and bashed. One vs Gang, and the chances of surviving that had the odds stacked against him.

Olivia looked at her watch, its nearly 2am, it had been a couple hours since Nick was admitted. She was praying in her head for him to pull through.

_Come on Nick, I love you, I need you. Don't leave me now. Don't. Stay. Fight for us like you have always been._ Olivia thought. She was kidding herself if she wasn't in love with him. She was and she knew it. It was only until recently she knew that things were going to ge more intense and it wasn't until now she realized that she had been toying with Nicks emotions for a long time and if she knew this was gonna happen, she wouldn't have been such a bitch. Olivia was trying not be too hard on herself, but she was, and she blamed herself for not admitting that she really loved Nick.

Casey had walked up to her with a cappuccino from Starbucks and handed one to both Munch and Olivia. "Hey, I figured you'd still be here so I came by with some coffees. Both de-caf Cappuccinos. Hospital coffee tastes like cat piss."

"Cat piss?" Olivia quizzed, giving Casey a funny look. Her friend was so odd at the most impromptu times.

Munch looked at her. "Hey there is nothing wrong with cats, I have four of them myself."

"It amounts to the 4 wives you had. Let me guess you named them after your four ex-wives?" Casey asked with a smile as she sat down across from Olivia and Munch.

_Good. They are distracting me. My thoughts are driving me nuts. All though cat piss is quite an odd conversation starter._ Olivia thought as she sipped her cappuccino.

Munch sighed. "Well, of course. It would defeat the purpose of the pussies that were my four wives."

"My god… I don't even know what to say to that." Olivia exclaimed. "Munch, you're old. I think you need professional help. Thinking about seeing Huang?"

"Nah, I'm too late to be served. Reaching immature retirement age now."Munch immediately dismissed the idea.

Olivia was so glad for the company though, although she was thinking about Nick and the surgery, she wasn't going completely mental in her head like she was earlier.

"You okay liv, you gone quiet." Casey noted leaning forward.

Olivia nodded. "Yeah I'm just drained with worry. Tired."

"Maybe get some shut eye?" Casey suggested. "Stretch out. It's been a long night for you."

"Yeah I might do." Olivia said as she stretched her legs on the next seat.

Olivia must have fallen asleep because she found herself stirring when someone began calling out her name. Her ears were severely blocked. Her head was spinning and she was so cold again. Even though she looked over to see that a blanket had been put over clothes right up to her neck. She looked up to see Casey with a surgeon behind her.

_Oh my god Nick!_ She immediately thought. She got up immediately and turned to the doctor. "How is he?"

"He's a very sick man, are you his partner?" Asked The Surgeon, with a very serious tone in his face. Olivia was bracing herself for more bad news. She stood beside Casey. She felt dizzy again and she leaned on Casey for support. Munch had long gone home. She checked her watch and it read 4.30am.

_Wow._ She thought. _Been asleep that long, still feel shit, sick and I just want to be with Nick. Fuck all this shit._

"Okay, can you explain?" Olivia asked bracing herself for the worst. She listened carefully at about how there was too much internal bleeding and that the stabbing pearced one of Nick's lungs and popped a vain. They said they managed to stop the bleeding but Nick was not out of the woods, and he hadn't waken up from his coma. Currently he was in intensive care. S

Olivia was devastated. This was not part of the big picture. She felt her knees buckle and she had to lean on Casey for more support again. Tears whelming up in her eyes. He was looking after her tonight. He didn't do anything and now he was here fighting for his life.

"Can I see him?" Olivia asked.

The surgeon looked at her seriously. "You can briefly. We are having nurses monitor him around the clock. Do you know his next of kin? If he has any family here, you will need to get his family here. The next 18 hours are critical."

Olivia burst into tears at that point. Those words hitting her like a ton of bricks. Casey was on the phone while holding Liv. She was calling Rollins. "Hey it's me, you need get down here. It's not looking good. Can you call Munch and Fin and the Captain?, Thanks Amanda. Bye."

Casey turned to see Olivia collapse into another waiting room chair hand covering her face and she could hear the loud sobs coming from her best friend.

Olivia, a while later, was following the Doctor to Nick's intensive care room in the unit. As she walked passed doctors, she noticed how intense the Intensive Care unit was. Some hospital patients were lying on the beds in comas, some were being worked on, and family members were hurrying to their rooms with the nurses. Life and death was decided in this room. Olivia never felt so close to losing someone, since her mum died. She never felt so scared like she never felt before, after entering this room. She stood still when she saw the doctor stop at Nick's room. She entered the room and was greeted with the horrible site she saw. Nick was hooked up to all sorts of hospital machinery. A breathing tube was put down his throat, and he his chest laid exposed with other hospital material hooked up to his chest to monitor his chest. The monitor on the left side of the bed was beeping to indicate that Nick was still breathing. She slowly approached Nick as the doctor watched on.

"Is he breathing on his own?" Olivia asked with nervousness. She dreaded the answer, and from the way it looked, it could be that Nick was not breathing on his own. She looked at Nick's bruised and stitched face. The bandages across his forehead, hid away his forehead. She hardly recognised the man she loved and wanted to be with in this scenario.

She pulled up a chair and sat behind him.

"For now he is." The doctor said. "Do you know if he has family, it's imperative that we contact them immediately."

Olivia grabbed his right hand held it in her hand, hoping at that instant he would just instantly wake up. She held her tears in and looked at him. "I know he has a mom somewhere. He rarely talks about her though. I know he has a brother and a sister. But I don't know if he is on speaking terms with them. I'll try and get someone from my squad to contact Nick's mother."

The Doctor nodded and then left the room.

She kissed Nick's hand and silently said. "Don't leave me. Don't go. You have many things to live for. I don't care how long you take, but you have to come back to me. You hear me. I want my partner back. My best friend, my man, you can't leave me now. Not now."

All that she got in return as a response was the beeps form the machine. Olivia sighed and wiped away some tears that dropped from her face. She was so tired, so drained. Still sick. She rested her head against his hand and kissed it again and then put her head on the bed.


End file.
